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16 Love Lessons I Have Learned from My Children
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Almost a year ago I shared love lessons I wanted my daughters to know. But the thing is, as much as I aspire to teach them, they’ve been two of my greatest teachers. Being a mother has taught me so much about life and love, and I truly believe being a mother has made me a better wife. When I met my husband, I was already a mother. It is a role that has shaped the very essence of who I am. The qualities I possessed as a mother turned out to be some of the very things he ended up loving about me. In fact, they are some of the very qualities I love most about myself.
My children are my calls to action, my little agents of change. They hold me accountable and inspire me to put my all into everything I do not only for me but also for them. Their eyes are always watching. They are making mental notes even if they don’t realize that they are. And thus, in a sense, they have become my teachers.
It’s funny how this parenting gig works because so many of the lessons you learn are things you already knew. They are the words that your mother (or someone you looked up to) told you as a small child, words tucked away only to race to the forefront of your mind as you lie in a hospital bed with a tiny infant on your chest moments after giving birth. Words that you recollect as you sit and listen to your little one tell you about a fight they had with a best friend who is no longer their friend. Words that flow out of your mouth as you offer up wisdom, encouragement and love. Words, when served with hugs, can mend a broken heart and remedy a scraped elbow. Somehow my role as a mother allows me to understand them on a much deeper level.
My kids have opened my eyes and my heart. They caused me to see the world differently, to see people differently. I am better because of them. I love better because of them. And it is that deep love for them that brings me to the realization that being their mama and a wife to their dad are amongst the best decisions I have ever made.
So what is it that my children have taught me, or at the very least affirmed? Here are 16 of the most prominent lessons:
People are not disposable
As a parent, we couldn't imagine not being there for our children. We watch the news and hear stories, and can't fathom how someone would give up on their child. To not stand by them as they encounter health or behavioral challenges, or whatever it might be. Why? Because as a parent there is nothing we value or hold more dearly than our babies. If our child made a mistake, we stand by their side to get them through it. We wouldn't threaten to leave them or walk away, leaving them to muddle through the pieces. There is a grace we give our children that many of us fail to extend to our spouses. But they shouldn't be disposable either. Our spouses should know that even in the midst of a trial or hardship, we will be by their side.
To forgive freely
Our babies forgive so freely. One minute you have the potential to be dubbed the "worst mom ever." The next minute, you're the "best mom in the whole world." Children forgive freely. They don't hold grudges or highlight your shortcomings. They simply let it go and get back to loving us. This was a lesson that I wanted my daughters to know, and, as it would turn out, it is a lesson they have helped me truly understand.
Apologize without hesitation
When they are little, we teach our children to say sorry when they have hurt someone. "Say you're sorry," we firmly tell them, wondering in the back of our minds if they truly grasp what it means to be apologetic. And yet we struggle to apologize or seek forgiveness when we have hurt our loved ones. We find ourselves holding out in a battle of wills determined not to say sorry first. But children? They apologize, and then they get back to playing and having fun. I've learned when I've been swift in my seeking of forgiveness we've been able to move on, move forward, and get back to the good stuff.
Accept people for who they are
My children accept me for who I am. I don't have to be perfect; I just have to love them. It doesn't matter if I always make spaghetti or that I have yet to finish the baby book (my oldest is 9, and I didn't even start one for my second). They could care less that I can't sew or that I have absolutely no rhythm. They love me for me. And their love for me, so pure and without limits, encourages me to love others and accept others for who they are, my husband included.
To be silly
As parents, we will do just about anything to make our babies laugh. We will be silly and relinquish our cool cards all in the name of love. My children are always laughing and giggling and being silly. They remind me to not be so serious all of the time. It is something that is important in my marriage too. It's important for my husband and I to laugh and be silly, and have fun together. Our moments of laughter are amongst the times that I feel most connected to him.
To be brave
Children can be so fearless. They leap without looking and aren't afraid to take chances. And while I think we do have to be careful and use our best judgment, sometimes you have to leap too. Sometimes you have to be willing to have courage and refuse to let your fear consume you. Sometimes you have to "be you, bravely." Fear would have kept me from venturing down the aisle yet again. But I knew something -- someone -- amazing was waiting for me when I got to the end -- the love of my life.
To say yes to adventure
My oldest daughter loves an adventure. We often go on them as a family. Being a mother has taught me to say yes to adventures and to go out and live life. To not just sit wait for opportunities to come knocking. And in the event that opportunities do come knocking, to not be afraid to answer the call. When it comes to my marriage, it is our adventures that keep the fun and excitement going. They will be the substance of the stories we share and reminisce of when we are too old to embark on them.
Be inquisitive
Children love to ask questions. They are curious beings that want to know about things. And when you tell them they demand to know more. It is their inquisitive nature that inspires me to ask my own husband questions. They remind me to sit and listen intently to his stories. To be mindful of the way his demeanor changes and his face begins to light up as he shares them. I desire to listen to more of my husband's stories and attentively hear what he has to say
Embracing repetition can be a beautiful thing
Sometimes as adults we get bored with repetition but not children. Babies will want to read the same book or sing the same song over and over. Each time you do, they grow excited almost as if it was the first time. I dream of a life of repetition when it comes to my husband and my babies. I dream of waking up every single morning by his side and kissing him goodbye each day as he heads out the door. In the repetition I see the gift I have been given, a chance to create a life with an amazing man. And my prayer is that I will be afforded the opportunity to do it over and over again.
Slow down
With the arrival of my second child came this strong pull to slow down. I wanted to savor the baby years knowing they would be over so fast. Being a mother has taught me that I must slow down. Rather than always being in a hurry to get to what is next, sometimes I need to press pause and live in the moment.
Ask for you what you need
"Uuuup." I know the day is coming when the tiny arms that reach for me will be coupled with a verbal request to be picked up. When my children need something, they ask. Whether it is my oldest letting me know she is ready to be tucked in or our littlest saying,"Eat. Eat." They aren't afraid to ask for what they need. Asking for what I need is something I will work on doing more often in my marriage.
Trust
My children trust that I will be there to meet their needs. They know that I will respond to their cries. That I will offer hugs, cuddles, and words of affirmation. They know that they can depend on me. They know this because my actions have shown them that their mommy will meet their needs. My husband's actions have shown me that I can place my trust in him and that I can do this without a doubt. At the same time I make an effort to ensure that my husband always knows the same. For me, motherhood has solidified the importance of trust and striving to meet the needs of your loved ones.
Show Affection
My little ones shower me with hugs and kisses all of the time. And they love when I do it back. They remind me that physical touch can actually be just as powerful and important as words of affirmation.
Feel your emotions
My babies are feelers. My oldest always has been. Her heart hurts when she sees someone sad or in pain. She isn't able to turn her eye the way jaded adults do. She has to do something whether it's whispering to me asking if we can offer the frustrated women behind us our spot in line, incorporating someone into her prayers or giving food to someone who may otherwise go without. I love this about her and think the world needs people like her. That is, people who aren't afraid to feel, people who feel and then are compelled to act because of it. My children help me see the beauty in the feeling even when it is painful. It means that I am alive, not jaded. My heart is open, not hardened. I feel love, and because I know how amazing it feels, I freely give it to my loved ones wanting them to experience it also.
Show your emotions
Children are great at showing their emotions. If they are upset you will know it. While it is important to be able to control one's emotions I think it is important to allow your spouse to see them as well. Transparency is both freeing and humbling. There was a time when I felt like I had to always be strong. I was known for balancing school, work and single parenthood. I proved that I could triumph in the midst of adversity. But I've learned that I don't always have to be strong or have it all together. And so much growth has come from the moments in which I have crumbled and pulled myself up or allowed my husband to help me stand. When I am upset or sad or scared he knows it and because of my honesty and transparency he is able to better support me and be there for me.
Keep trying
When my babies were learning to walk, they would fall and fall. But the falls weren't enough to keep them from trying. The fact that walking didn't come easy at first wasn't enough for them to settle for a life of crawling and being carried in their mama's arms. They kept trying, and each day they got stronger and more confident. They didn't give up. They were working toward something. In this case, that something was a series of steps uninterrupted by a tumble. The same has happened with learning to ride bicycles or make friendship bracelets, and to write names, and figure out math problems. It is a lesson that applies to love. Much like 12 times tables, love isn't always easy or even fun, but it's worth the effort and commitment. If you've got something worth trying for, then by all means, keep trying.
Closure is an funny word that we like to throw around a lot at the end of relationships. It means different things at different times to different people.
Sometimes we want closure because we want to move on. Maybe we are single, maybe we are in the next relationship. Either way, closure feels necessary because we cannot seem to move past the old relationship and into the next stage.
Sometimes we want closure because we are hurt and want to be able to express it to the other person. Maybe be want them to feel sorry for us, maybe we want them to feel responsible. Or maybe we want them to hurt as badly as we do.
Sometimes we want closure because we actually want the other person back. In this case, closure means being able to see them again and with that comes the fantasy of them falling in love with us again.
Sometimes closure means revenge.
Sometimes closure means arguing and yelling and crying.
Sometimes closure means having sex with and dating other people.
Sometimes closure means letting the other person know you are dating and have moved on.
But. Hardly ever does closure mean being vulnerable, opening up and letting the other person know that they really hurt you. Not by yelling that at them, pointing fingers or shaming them. But by being genuine and showing them how you feel and understanding they may feel the same way. And then talking to them as if you were talking to your hurt self. Working through issues like this is where true closure comes from. And everything else is just a way to re-open the hurt, for both people involved….making us cling even longer to the dead relationship, just the opposite of what we are looking for closure to do.
Overall, though, I was glad to be on the other end of the contact equation. Perhaps more women are realizing that given how many of us are doing online dating these days, just sitting back and waiting for the inbox to fill might not cut it anymore.
I'll let you in on a little secret: it doesn't matter really if you are single or partnered. It really doesn't.
You might think your life depends on finding that special someone. You might wake up in the middle of the night after a nightmare about growing old in your house full of cats. You might wake up from the dream embrace of some hot someone and shout "Damn!" at the top of your lungs, waking your neighbors again. You might find yourself having heart palpitations or choking fits after seeing the fiftieth lovey-dovey couple walking down the street past you. You might have read studies that suggest single people are "less healthy" than partnered folks, or that single people live shorter lives, and think your doomed. You might ...
And that's the point. It's goes on and on like this, as long as you let it. The best partnered people tend to be people who are also great at being alone. Being themselves alone. Enjoying themselves as they are.
There's your pep talk for the week, single folks! Now get out there and be fine with your bad self. By yourself. And just maybe, all that shine and positive energy will draw that special someone right to you.
You know what an average guy will do if he's "meh" about a woman, and the woman keeps initiating contact? He'll meet with her since she insists, have sex, and disappear. Ask me how I know :(
Then again, to be fair, in this particular case, I wasn't all that interested...
Reply
NathanOct 14, 2011 10:16 AM
What if this had been a man you were really interested in?
See, while I agree that a lot of men are going to initiate things if they are interested, the reality is that the sands are shifting on dating. There are more men who aren't willing to chase (myself included), which means that we want women to put in a fair share of effort, and be willing to risk rejection.
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Se relier à la Toile de la Vie, à la conscience collective du Vivant. Exprimer notre ressenti devant ce qui arrive à notre monde, réveiller en nous les forces vitales de la Terre, trouver notre raison d'être et nous soutenir mutuellement pour aligner nos vies sur notre créativité et nos valeurs profondes...
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Se relier à la Toile de la Vie, à la conscience collective du Vivant.
Exprimer notre ressenti devant ce qui arrive à notre monde, réveiller en nous les forces vitales de la Terre, trouver notre raison d'être et nous soutenir mutuellement pour aligner nos vies sur notre créativité et nos valeurs profondes...
A l'écoute de la Terre en nous (Le Travail qui Relie, de Joanna Macy)
Description
Se relier à la Toile de la Vie, à la conscience collective du Vivant. Exprimer notre ressenti face à ce qui arrive à notre monde, réveiller en nous les forces vitales de la Terre, trouver notre raison d'être et nous soutenir mutuellement pour aligner nos vies à notre créativité et nos valeurs profondes...
'Les Ouches' se situe au cœur de la forêt cévenole, les plantes y tiennent une place de choix.
Elle sont les associées agissantes du lieu et des projets qui s'y développent.
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Alter Nativas - Building possible futures is a documentary about transition initiatives and ecosocial regeneration. A collective project to make transformative experiences visible and inspire other possible futures.
“Alternatives”, from Latin Alter (other) y Nativus (born), refers to the search for new realities, and new origins. This is the starting point for this documentary project: showing innovative initiatives of socio-ecological transition. Diverse experiences provide responses to the worldwide systemic crisis (energetic, economic, ecological, social, cultural and epistemic) that we are suffering.
How do we bridge the so-called divide between men and women? How do we create understanding? How do we heal our relationship wounds? How do we get back to…..LOVE?
Like other women, I have often asked myself these questions. I have also participated in endless discussions on this very topic. I have chimed in, weighed in, and boldly stated my opinion about what we “should” do in order to come to some sort of resolution. But after many years and countless hours of discussion, it finally occurred to me that “we” don’t need to do a doggone thing. And as a result, I am now choosing to sit down, shut up and mind my own business. No, I am not frustrated. I am not bitter. And, I am not giving up. For the first time, I have realized that all that talking might just be problem.
On a purely superficial level, it is very easy to talk about what’s going on in society. It’s also easy to point out the flaws, talk about the breakdowns in communication, rail against the false perceptions, and complain about what we consider to be the questionable actions of the opposite sex. It’s very easy to say that if everything and everybody else were different in some way, we would get different results.
What isn’t so easy? It isn’t so easy to turn that laser-like focus on ourselves and determine exactly what it is that we can do as individuals to improve the quality of our own personal relationships. It isn’t so easy when it comes to talking about what we can do to heal ourselves, so we become satisfied with living in the story that we alone are powerless to make a difference.
It is often said that charity begins at home; and knowing this, it doesn’t really make sense to pipe up about the work that needs to be done if we are unwilling to commit ourselves to doing the work. In other words, maybe our role in healing the seemingly compromised state of male-female relationships is to actually BE the change we wish to see in others. Instead of waiting for the “we” or the “them” to get on board so that we can turn this thing around, we might want to start with the “I.” In doing so, we just might begin to see the positive shift that we all want so badly to come about.
When it comes to relationships, we all know that a healthy discussion can help shed light on some of the challenges that we face with one another. There’s no denying that. But what about getting to work on those things within us that we know have caused damage to ourselves and others? It might be time to for us to stop talking so much and start doing. As for me, I’m gonna spend a little more time focusing on the “I” part of “we.”
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Festival à Rennes les Bains. Première édition cette année, et probablement à suivre. Belle ambiance pour des rencontres de près, en douceur. J'anime une introduction au Travail qui Relie samedi 10 août avec Hugo Salgado, aussi de Roseaux Dansants.
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ENVIE D’ÉLAN OU D’INSPIRATION DANS TA VIE OU TON BOULOT ?
Vis un atelier « Impulser un projet ! » et donne de l’intelligence à ton action grâce à ton ressenti.
Epreuve (souffrance au travail, éco-lucidité, rupture, deuil, maladie, etc.), bifurcation ou envie de transformation ?
Chacun.e connectera l’élan du moment (celui qui est vivant et juste), le ressentira pleinement et lui donnera le meilleur terreau.
Il peut s’agir d’un projet que tu as en tête ou qui émergera lors de cet atelier : piste d’action ou de « non-action » (prendre soin de soi par exemple), projet pro, associatif, de vie ou autre.
Biophilia vient du grec “bio” (la vie) et -phile (“qui aime”). La biophilie est le fait d’aimer le vivant.
Géraldine Siméon, professionnelle de l’accompagnement et fondatrice de Biophilia, a développé sa résilience lors d’une épreuve de vie de 10 ans à laquelle elle n’aurait en théorie pas dû survivre
Elle s’est formée à l’animation du « Travail qui relie » selon Joanna Macy et à la facilitation de cercles d’espérance en mouvement.
Elle a affiné son écoute sensible des ressentis grâce à une soixantaine de journées de stage de Communication NonViolente holistique (et créé un café empathie CNV à Grenoble).
Son cursus en clown et en maïeusthésie (approche thérapeutique) colorent également sa posture.
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Un atelier pour laisser jaillir l’élan du moment quel qu’il soit : besoin de pause, de laisser émerger une aspiration, une idée, d’impulser un projet, de renouveau, etc.
Grâce à l’approche du « Travail qui relie » (travail au sens de traversée ⸱ transformation) selon Joanna Macy, nous nous ancrerons dans le présent, libérerons nos émotions, élargirons nos perspectives et connecterons l’élan.
Professionnelle de l’accompagnement de l’éco-sensibilité, des effondrements (burnout, deuil, maladie, exil, etc.) et des bifurcations, Géraldine Siméon vous permettra de voyager en confiance, avec profondeur et légèreté.
Tarif atelier : 90€ (arrhes 25€)
Accès possible en train (St Marcellin) puis 10mn de covoiturage organisé
Clôture des inscriptions le 24 avril
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Envie d'harmonie, de douceur, d'accueil, de bienveillance, de soutien, etc. ?
Un atelier pour accueillir l’élan du moment quel qu’il soit : besoin de pause, de laisser émerger une aspiration, une idée, d’impulser un projet, de renouveau, etc.
Grâce à l’approche du « Travail qui relie » (travail au sens de traversée ⸱ transformation) selon Joanna Macy, nous nous ancrerons dans le présent, libérerons nos émotions, élargirons nos perspectives et connecterons l’élan.
Professionnelle de l’accompagnement de l’éco-sensibilité, des effondrements (burnout, deuil, maladie, exil, etc.) et des bifurcations, Géraldine Siméon vous permettra de voyager en confiance, avec profondeur et légèreté.
Lieu : Centre Em'Amour à 10mn de St Marcellin (Isère). Covoiturage de la gare et hébergement possible chez une participante la veille de l'atelier.
Tarif atelier : 90€ (arrhes 25€)
Description
Mal à la planète, envie de birfurcation ou de transformation ?
Vis cet atelier biophilisé et connecte l'élan du moment !
Grâce à l'approche du "Travail qui relie" (travail au sens de traversée ⸱ transformation) selon Joanna Macy, nous nous ancrerons dans le présent, libérerons nos émotions, élargirons nos perspectives et irons de l'avant.
Le tout en nous connectant à notre ressenti avec une variété de pratiques pour donner de l'intelligence à notre action.
Professionnelle de l’accompagnement et fondatrice de Biophilia, Géraldine Siméon vous permettra de voyager en confiance, avec profondeur et légèreté.
Pour en savoir plus : https://biophilia.fr
Description
Mal à la planète, envie de birfurcation ou de transformation ?
Vis cet atelier biophilisé dans le lieu des résiliences (autonomie en eau et élec, etc.) et connecte l'élan du moment !
Grâce à l'approche du "Travail qui relie" (travail au sens de traversée ⸱ transformation) selon Joanna Macy, nous nous ancrerons dans le présent, libérerons nos émotions, élargirons nos perspectives et irons de l'avant.
Le tout en nous connectant à notre ressenti avec une variété de pratiques pour donner de l'intelligence à notre action.
Professionnelle de l’accompagnement et fondatrice de Biophilia, Géraldine Siméon vous permettra de voyager en confiance, avec profondeur et légèreté.
Pour en savoir plus : https://biophilia.fr
Description
Mal à la Terre, envie de bifurcation ou d’élan ?
Vis cet atelier biophilisé et inspire ton action grâce à ton ressenti.
Grâce à l’approche du « Travail qui relie » (travail au sens de traversée/transformation) selon Joanna Macy, nous nous ancrerons dans le présent, libérerons nos émotions, élargirons nos perspectives et laisseront l’élan jaillir.
Professionnelle de l’accompagnement, Géraldine Siméon vous permettra de voyager en confiance, avec profondeur et légèreté.
Tarif atelier : 240€ ⸱ Early birds 200€ (inscription avant le 6 décembre)
Clôture des inscriptions le 30 janvier.
Description
Mal à la Terre*, envie de bifurcation ou d’élan ?
Vis cet atelier biophilisé et inspire ton action grâce à ton ressenti.
Grâce à l’approche du « Travail qui relie » (travail au sens de traversée/transformation) selon Joanna Macy, nous nous ancrerons dans le présent, libérerons nos émotions, élargirons nos perspectives et laisseront l’élan jaillir.
Professionnelle de l’accompagnement, Géraldine Siméon vous permettra de voyager en confiance, avec profondeur et légèreté.
Tarif atelier : 240€ ⸱ Early birds 200€ (inscription avant le 4.2)
Clôture des inscriptions le 27 mars.
*cf la chanson de Crusoé
Description
Mal à la Terre*, envie de birfurquer, d'élan ou de transform'action ?
Vis cet atelier biophilisé et reconnecte l'élan !
Grâce à une traversée qui relie selon Joanna Macy, nous nous ancrerons dans le présent, libérerons nos émotions, élargirons nos perspectives et irons de l'avant en nous connectant à notre ressenti pour donner de l'intelligence à l'action.
Professionnelle de l’accompagnement, Géraldine Siméon vous permettra de voyager en confiance, avec profondeur et légèreté.
Pour en savoir plus : https://biophilia.fr
Lieu : un gîte inspirant niché entre Voiron et Pont de Beauvoisin https://www.le-repaire.org/
Tarif atelier : 240€ (early birds 200€ avant le 4 août). Tarif écrémé possible (à discuter en amont).
Hébergement (facultatif ) : 20€ la nuitée.
Repas en mode auberge espagnole.
Inscription : contact@biophilia.fr
#écosensible #écoanxiété #transitionintérieure #écologieprofonde #travailquirelie #biophilia #burnout
*cf. la chanson de Crusoé
Atelier de "Travail qui relie" Impulser un projet !
Description
Envie de donner de l’élan à un projet que tu as en tête ou encore à découvrir : piste d’action, projet pro, associatif, de vie ou autre ?
Vis cet atelier biophilisé !
Nous voyagerons en pratique au fil des 4 mouvements du « Travail qui relie » (travail au sens de traversée ⸱ transformation) pour identifier le projet qui est vivant pour chacun⸱e, le ressentir pleinement et lui donner le meilleur terreau.
Géraldine Siméon s’est formée à l’animation du « Travail qui relie » selon Joanna Macy avec Roseaux Dansants & Transalquimia… et au clown notamment.
Atelier de "Travail qui relie" Rebondissez-vous la vie !
Description
Mal à la planète, envie de bifurcation ou d'élan ?
Vis cet atelier biophilisé et inspire ton action grâce à ton ressenti.
Grâce à l'approche du "Travail qui relie" (travail au sens de traversée/transformation) selon Joanna Macy, nous nous ancrerons dans le présent, libérerons nos émotions, élargirons nos perspectives et laisseront l'élan jaillir.
Professionnelle de l’accompagnement, Géraldine Siméon vous permettra de voyager en confiance, avec profondeur et légèreté.
Tarif atelier : 100€ ⸱Tarif écrémé possible
Clôture des inscriptions le 10 novembre
Atelier de "Travail qui relie" Rebondissez-vous la vie !
Description
Biophilia propose des espaces d'expérimentation collectifs pour connecter l’élan ou se transformer !
2,5 jours dans un lieu magnifique pour ralentir, se ressourcer, se connecter au ressenti et laisser jaillir l'élan grâce à la magie d'une spirale qui relie "biophilisée".
Covoit possible notamment de Lyon, Grenoble ou gare de Voiron.
#transitionintérieure #résilience #TravailQuiRelie
Description
Voyage au cœur de la Terre, au cœur de nos émotions, au cœur de ce qui est vivant en nous et autour de nous.
Pratiques pour exprimer et partager nos ressentis pour notre Monde dans cette époque cruciale.
Explorer et se réapproprier les forces vitales qui protègent la Toile du Vivant, inspirés par la sagesse des ancêtres et notre grand passé, celui du Temps Profond, géologique.
Se laisser inspirer par l'intemporalité.
Désormais ancrés dans nos valeurs profondes, notre perception du monde libère notre engagement créatif, collectif, joyeux.
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Chant sacré Occitan. Découvert du répertoire Occitan médiéval. Béatriz de Dia. Trobairitz Occitane du 12ème siècle. Plus d'infos : riviera72@gmail.com ou Tél : 07 83 43 13 20
Which brings me to that movie with Duane Martin, Vivica, Meagan Good, Jadakiss, and a bit part by none other than miss Halle herself: Gabby Union. What the hell was the name of that one? I can’t remember, but I watch it every time also. Terrible movie. Good times…
Reply
Panama Jackson {June 22nd, 2009 at 10:15 am}
@Dante_Alexander, Love and A Bullet was so horribly great that it was the first movie i ever wrote a review for.
after i saw it, i never ever wanted to see, hear, or read anything dealing with Treach again.
Reply
Dante_Alexander {June 22nd, 2009 at 10:27 am}
@Panama Jackson,
I agree. Yet I can’t help but watch it when it comes on HBO 12 late on a Tuesday night.
Reply
29Cheekie { 06.22.09 at 10:12 am }
Man, I absolutely LOVE Baby Boy and it is definitely one of those “gotta watch when it airs on TV” type movies. Like, I stop in my tracks and have to watch…no matter where it is in the film.
Now, You’ve Got Served? Can’t roll with ya on that one, Panama. I can’t take that Sonic the Hedgehog lookin’ 2520 who thinks he is raw.
However.
You’ve brought a whole different light with the “view it as comedy” thang. So, Imma have to watch it with that perspective now. Gotta borrow my niece’s DVD because she stanned for that movie when it came out. I think she had a crush on one of those Chris Stokes bootypieces.
Reply
30Panama Jackson { 06.22.09 at 10:16 am }
You know what other movies I can’t help but watch even though they suck immensely?
The Trois movies. MAN those were horrible but every time Pandora’s Box comes on, I have to watch it.
I suggest seeing movies like this at Magic Johnson Theaters for maximum entertainment value.
I dish out alot of compiments…like ALOT. But they’re always to girlfriends and women in general. I’ll compliment a woman on her outfit, shoes, hair, her bangin body etc. I compliment women all the live long day because I’m committed to fighting crime (like you guys) and uplifting my sistrens. We need positive reinforcement in the form of words. We like words. I especially do this with Black women because we don’t get compliments. Our people are allergic to saying nice things about each other…but that’s another topic for another day.
Compliment men? Naaawwwwwwww. Mostly because I’m afraid. I can’t even make eye contact with a man. I’m that scary. There could be a hottie right in front of me and I’ll avoid looking at him…even though I see him in my peripheral view. I never holla at, compliment or go near men. I’ve had guys be upset when they find out years later that I was attracted them like “Why didn’t you saying thing? You never showed it?” D@mn, now that I’m typing this, I realize it’s pretty bad. I’m not shy. Maybe I’m stuck up? Maybe I don’t want him to know I notice him. Maybe I’m afraid of getting harrassed. (Ninjas in the south be ridiculous on that holla at every female tip) Yeah that’s it. I’m afraid of the consequences of complimenting a man. A woman will tell me thank you, compliment me back then be on her merry way. A man is more likely to turn around and try to engage in some sort of convo. I know from experience. Not to sound conceited or anything. I need to man up and compliment hot guys guys more.
Reply
373AfroPetite July 18, 2011 at 10:58 am
“Ninjas in the south be ridiculous on that holla at every female tip”"
SPEAK! They stop at nothing to get your attention and once they do it’s all downhill from there smh
Reply
374MizzCam July 18, 2011 at 12:12 pm
Yes, yes, and yes… especially on the “complimenting hot guys” thing. Although I rarely see any of those… =/
Reply
375sunsh1ne_md July 18, 2011 at 10:51 am
im going to conduct my own experiment and start giving random guys compliments that are sincere of course. If i get humped i will be holding you responsible Champ. ill let you know how it goes.
My hypothesis: you can not give a man a compliment without them thinking that you want them or their wang.
Null hypothesis:man can accept compliments and move on
I wish I could write about how much I was blown away by guys here in LA, but I’m becoming more and more cynical towards the guys who I’ve met. If I put my work friends aside and the few guys who I really have come to respect here, the rest are all just blah. I mean, how hard is it to be a gentleman?
I used to blame it on lack of parental education on how to treat a woman, but this trip just was just literally shocking. The trip was a three day hiking trek to the Sykes Hot Springs in Big Sur. Everything about it seemed wonderful, challenging and adventuresome. I love camping, always have, always will, but I know when I’m being treated poorly and when it’s intentional.
I was invited on this trip by my new friend S. S was invited by her guy friend Marcus who was the common denominator of our three-guy, three-girl group. I was familiar with Marcus before the trip, but I expected him to be more of a leader when it came to standing up for what’s right. Mostly because I had met him at church.
Here’s how everything went down. We were supposed to meet up on Friday at 5:30pm at one of the guys’ house. I left work two hours early because I had to pack, go to the bank and get a cashier’s check for our new apartment, drop it off and then make it over to the apartment by the time designated. It was my understanding that I would be riding with one of the guys since half of the group was supposed to depart at 1:30p earlier that day.
When I arrived however, I was not asked, but rather informed that I was going to be driving the girls car and that all of the guys were going to be riding together. Supposedly the first group never left and wanted to embark on this journey together instead of separately. Embarking together was a great idea, I just wasn’t prepared to drive, and I wasn’t exactly thrilled about how I was forced into it, but I agreed nonetheless.
We started our drive through traffic and the leading car was driven by Marcus’ friend, Miller. You know how some people are great at being the lead car and other people suck at letting you follow them? Well Miller was one of those sucky people. From LA to Santa Barbara, I was constantly weaving in and out of traffic, trying to stay up with Miller’s car (which in itself is a headache). In Santa Barbara, we picked up S from work and continued our journey up the 101. About halfway through the 101, it turns into a two lane road and we were stuck behind two cars who were going the speed limit. It was about 10:30p at this point and you could hardly see the curve ahead—not necessarily the most dangerous roads, but still not the best for passing. Miller passed both vehicles and left me in the dust. By the time I was free to pass the cars, the road started swerving. We were officially driving on the cliff side like the image below and the road said no passing.
Miller continued on until we could no longer see his taillights. We drove in the darkness in the direction we knew to go, but without an actual destination point because we didn’t know where we were actually headed to. Our cell phones lost service on the road because we were riding on the coastline, so even if we knew where to go, our phones wouldn’t have been much help.
An hour passed of us driving by ourselves until we see them on the side of the road waving us over. They made a quick pit stop at a gas station and then told us to “keep up” before speeding off again. With the sharp curves and my car not taking the turns very well, I wasn’t able to “keep up” so again we were alone in the darkness.
45 minutes later we were flagged down at Big Sur Station where we parked, geared up and headed out on our hike. We began our hike at 12:45am Friday night/Saturday morning and made it to the campsite at 3:30am.
The five miles we hiked are considered the most difficult miles of the 10-mile hike inland to the hot springs. Part of me was grateful to get them over with, but the other part of me was extremely exhausted by 3:30am.
After setting up camp, the guys were trying to decide who gets what tent. There were three tents total: 1, 3-person, 1, 2-person and 1, 1-person tent. The girls said that we would cram into whichever tent the guys didn’t want and Miller didn’t want to give up the 3-person tent. After a bit of persuasion from Marcus, Miller gave us the three person tent and the boys spread out among the others.
We crashed, woke up and then embarked again on our hike towards the hot springs.
During the hike, the guys were in the front of the line and the three girls were in the back. S and I, being the extraverts that we are, tried to keep up conversations by asking lots of questions and even nominating people to start a conversation by questions. This however, proved to be unimportant to any of the other group members so S and I just enjoyed ourselves in the back of the line with the other girl Clarissa.
Clarissa is 5’2” and her step was much smaller than most of the guys, so just like the night before, the guys were way in front of us as we followed on the single-file trek.
At one point, I was stung by a bee (didn’t complain and the guys didn’t notice) and Clarissa climbed straight through a bed of Poison Oak. Also, at one point when I was the caboose, we were crossing a river by stepping on stones and Clarissa in front of me hesitated. Instead of taking her out by stepping directly on her, I chose to take the fall. I fell straight into the river and right on top of a rock (my hip is still black and blue from this).
Did the guys notice? Nope—and did they seem to care? Nope.
We finally made it to the hot springs and there was a larger girl in a thong bathing in the river. We ate our lunch on the side of the river bank and the guys positioned themselves for a better view of her. She was trying so hard to be private about bathing, but in the wilderness, in an open river, it’s hard to hide. I felt so bad for her, but I also didn’t know the guys well enough to scold them for not giving her privacy. They could have turned themselves in the opposite direction to look down the other end of the river…. And remember these guys are supposed to be CHURCH guys. They are supposed to be the ones who know the difference between right and wrong… and know the difference about respecting a girl and how to be a leader for girls.
Anyways, our trip back to the car took the rest of Saturday and then a little bit on Sunday. The guys’ character did not change much and in fact their actions are not even worth mentioning at this point because I feel like I’ve made my point already.
In the end, I think I’ve decided that whenever I find someone worth my time, I’m going to take him camping and see how exactly he is when he’s removed from society, electronics and expectations. As my mom would say, “Nature brings out the truth in everyone.”
You really cannot force someone to be with you, all you can do is provide the best environment for them to feel loved and for them to thrive. You can do as this article says and find out her love language and make sure to love her in that way.
But ultimately, you need confidence so that you are operating in love and not fear. Those two cannot co-exist. Perfect love for someone casts out fear. You ask me how to open her heart to you. How do you know that her heart is not already open?
If you want to be the man she deserves and not be viewed as a child, the first step is for you to stop second guessing yourself. Children care too much about what other people think. Men stop caring and start living not to please everyone and try to be liked by everyone, but instead they choose how they want to live and live in a way that aligns with their morals and beliefs.
Maybe the best way to love her is to stop trying to please her and just enjoy the time you have together. Show her you are the man for her by being confident in that and by loving her the best way you can. Internally you know what this is. Your gut tells you when you are being kind, considerate, thoughtful. You know when you are treating people well and when you’re not.
There are too many factors in love and in life in general that are beyond your control and when you focus is set on the things you cannot control (will she leave me? What does she think of me? Will she stop holding my hand?) then you are bound to be worried and stressed and fearful.
But, if your focus is on what you can control, (You can love her as well as you know how, you can make sure she knows how you feel, you can make her a priority, you can keep things exciting by planning dates and not just letting things “happen,” you can be a good listener) that is when you feel like you hold the reigns in your life. That is when you will gain confidence to live your life without so many doubts.
Once your mindset changes in this regard, your confidence will show. And I tell men and women, there is NOTHING, NOTHING sexier or more attractive than confidence and someone who is self assured. It’s a belief thing. Your belief will cause others to believe.
So the first step is for you to BELIEVE you have what it takes to be with this girl. She is just a girl. You are just a guy. Don’t elevate her to this pedestal she does not belong on. Bring her back to earth. She is flawed just like you are. You are lucky to be with her as much as she is lucky to be with you because you are on equal standing.
Café biophilisé, l'atelier qui relie et rebondit !
Description
Crises perso, environnementale ou sociétale, envie de nouvelles perspectives ?
Vis cet un espace hors du temps grâce à une approche puissante et innovante.
Atelier collectif et pratique animé avec la méthode du "Travail qui relie" (travail au sens de traversée) selon Joanna Macy.
Animation : Géraldine Siméon, professionnelle de l'accompagnement et fondatrice de Biophilia.
Biophilia, du grec « bio » (la vie) et -phile (« qui aime »). La biophilie est le fait d'aimer le vivant.
Capsule biophilante, l'atelier en ligne qui relie et rebondit
Description
Crises perso (deuil, maladie, burnout...), environnementale ou sociétale ? Ou envie d'accueillir ton élan du moment grâce à une transform'action collective ?
Vis une "Capsule biophiliante", un espace hors du temps pour explorer un nouveau chemin grâce à une approche puissante et innovante.
Un temps profond et léger à la fois, nourrissant et convivial.
Atelier animé avec l'approche du "Travail qui relie" (travail au sens de traversée) selon Joanna Macy. Un voyage qui nous relie à la vie en nous, aux autres et à la nature.
Animation : Géraldine Siméon, professionnelle de l'accompagnement et fondatrice de Biophilia.
Inscription sur Weezevent jusque la veille : https://my.weezevent.com/capsule***biophiliante
Contribution : 40€.
Intéressé mais pas dispo ou plus de place ? Autres propositions et newsletter sur biophilia.fr
Capsule biophiliante, l'atelier en ligne qui relie et rebondit la vie !
Description
Crises perso, environnementale ou sociétale ou envie d'accueillir ton élan du moment grâce à la méthode du "Travail qui relie" ?
Vis une "Capsule biophiliante", un espace hors du temps pour ouvrir de nouvelles perspectives grâce à une expérience collective puissante et innovante.
Un temps profond et léger à la fois, nourrissant et convivial.
Atelier animé avec l'approche du "Travail qui relie" (travail au sens de traversée) selon Joanna Macy.
Animation : Géraldine Siméon, professionnelle de l'accompagnement et fondatrice de Biophilia.
Intéressé mais pas dispo ? Merci de me préciser les jours/heures qui pourraient convenir à contact@biophilia.fr
Capsule biophiliante, l'atelier qui relie en ligne
Description
🌍 Besoin d’un nouvel élan dans ta vie ? Envie de vivre l’approche du « Travail qui relie » et de faire de tes émotions une richesse ? 🌍
Expérimente cet atelier en ligne.
Profond et léger à la fois, nourrissant et chaleureux. Une expérimentation collective pour retrouver de l’élan grâce à la méthode du » Travail qui relie » (travail au sens de traversée/transformation).
Animation : Géraldine Siméon, professionnelle de l’accompagnement et fondatrice de Biophilia.
Participation libre à partir de 25€ et inscriptions jusqu’au 14 décembre dans la limite des places disponibles.
Capsule biophiliante, l’atelier en ligne qui relie et rebondit la vie !
Description
Pas ce soir ! Ton chéri a mal à la Terre ? Et en plus il ne veut plus entendre parler de bébés… ni de cadeau d’ailleurs, ni de piscine ou de géo-ingénierie. La simple vue d’un avion en papier le plonge dans un profond désarroi dont il ne se relève pas… ou alors en boitant ou titubant. En ce début d'année tu aimerais bien trouver quelque chose à lui offrir pour qu'il reconnecte l'élan, un truc qui pourrait te changer la vie aussi ? Et bien tu as à portée de clic le de quoi lui faire sortir le nez de sa couette ! Pas besoin de plus, c'est en ligne et il peut venir aussi décoiffé que moi. Une expérience estourplifeuse pour vider son sac (ou sa hotte), prendre du recul et connecter l'élan. Testé et approuvé par de nombreux écodép, burnoutés, endeuillés ou joyeux lurons (aussi) en quête d'une nouvelle trajectoire.
Comme le dit Olivier Hamant, dir. de recherche à l’INRAE incroyablement inspirant, optons pour "le vivant pour réinventer le 21ème siècle". Cet atelier innovant, profond et pétillant à la fois redonnera goût à la vie à ton chum encore mieux qu'une bouteille de clairette de Die.
Inscription jusqu'au 15, à partir de 25€.
Capsule biophiliante, l’atelier en ligne qui relie et rebondit la vie !
Description
Comment arrêter le temps quand il file plus vite que la laine dans un rouet ??? Comment retrouver la patate quand les secousses se multiplient ?
Et bien avec une capsule biophiliante, un temps suspendu, nourrissant, à la fois profond et léger qui vous permettra d'explorer un nouveau chemin plein de vie.
Inscriptions uniquement sur Weezevent, dans la limite des places disponibles.
Capsule biophiliante, traversée qui relie en ligne
Description
Tournoupflé, chamboulassée, ratapluité, envie de renouveau ou de découvrir le "Travail qui relie" (travail au sens de traversée, transformation) ?
Vis une "Capsule biophiliante", un temps suspendu pour accueillir ta nature en douceur.
Atelier profond et léger à la fois, nourrissant et convivial.
Animation : Géraldine Siméon, professionnelle de l'accompagnement et fondatrice de Biophilia.
Inscription jusqu’au 9 sur Weezevent uniquement : https://my.weezevent.com/traversee-qui-relie-biophiliante
Participation consciente (à partir de 5€)
Places limitées
Capsule biophiliante en ligne atelier de "Travail qui relie"
Description
Tournoupflé, chamboulassée, ratapluité, envie de renouveau ou de découvrir le "Travail qui relie" (travail au sens de traversée, transformation) ?
Vis une "Capsule biophiliante", un temps suspendu pour accueillir ta nature en douceur.
Atelier profond et léger à la fois, nourrissant et convivial.
Animation : Géraldine Siméon, professionnelle de l'accompagnement et fondatrice de Biophilia.
Inscription jusqu’au 8 sur Weezevent uniquement : https://my.weezevent.com/capsule-biophiliante
Participation consciente (à partir de 5€)
Places limitées
Plus d'infos sur https://biophilia.fr/
Description
Danses en cercle, danses des Fleurs de Bach et danses du monde, animées par Stéphanie Daspres, près de Saint Girons, Ariège. Organisées par Anne E.
Description
Les Cercles d'Espérance en Mouvement sont une invitation à partir à l'aventure ! C'est l'occasion de traverser une spirale du Travail qui Relie sur une période de 4 mois. Ceci donne le temps nécessaire pour intégrer les pratiques qui vous sont utiles dans votre vie quotidienne et d'approfondir les liens avec des personnes avec qui vous partagez des affinités, afin de vous soutenir les uns les autres dans vos projets, pour inspirer votre participation dans le Changement de Cap: la transformation de notre culture d'une société qui détruit la Vie vers une qui encourage son épanouissement.
Description
Les Cercles d'Espérance en Mouvement sont une invitation à partir à l'aventure ! C'est l'occasion de traverser le processus en spirale du Travail qui Relie sur une période de 4 mois. Ceci donne le temps nécessaire pour intégrer les pratiques qui vous sont utiles dans votre vie quotidienne et d'approfondir les liens avec des personnes avec qui vous partagez des affinités, afin de vous soutenir les uns les autres dans vos projets, pour inspirer votre participation dans le Changement de Cap : la transformation de notre culture d'une société qui détruit la Vie vers une qui encourage son épanouissement.
Description
Les Cercles de l'Espérance en Mouvement sont une invitation à partir à l'aventure ! C'est l'occasion de traverser une spirale du Travail qui Relie sur une période de 4 mois. Ceci donne le temps nécessaire pour intégrer les pratiques qui vous sont utiles dans votre vie quotidienne et d'approfondir les liens avec des personnes avec qui vous partagez des affinités, afin de vous soutenir les uns les autres dans vos projets, pour inspirer votre participation dans le Changement de Cap: la transformation de notre culture d'une société qui détruit la Vie vers une qui encourage son épanouissement.
Description
Venez découvrir avec Stéphanie la magie de la danse en cercle, sur les musiques du monde, sur le thème de la nature. Partage, convivialité et connexion à soi sont au programme.
Description
"When we treat the world as a dead object and deal with it in an industrial mindset, we create a dead world! Gaia feels everything." - Charles Eisentein
The Free Climate Consciousness Summit 2023 from December 1-10 is a rallying call to embrace trauma-informed dialogue, a vital step in addressing the root cause of our environmental apathy. The summit offers a platform to connect with leading trauma psychologists, climate visionaries, indigenous elders, and passionate activists. By participating in the summit, you are supporting villages to shift into a cycle of abundance. For every sign up, a tree or two is planted by the Pocket Project and its partners in Germany and Kenya.
Description
Danses en cercle sur des musiques du monde pour une approche des élixirs du docteur Bach par le corps en mouvement et l'écoute de différents rythmes.
Les pas dansés dans le cercle dessinent au sol une structure en mouvement semblable au mandala. En son coeur, nous contactons l'énergie de la fleur dansée, sa qualité, son message-clé pour harmoniser nos émotions.
Journée animée par Stéphanie Daspres et organisée par Anne Elias.
Description
La magie de la danse en cercle sur des musiques du monde et le thème de la nature.
Écouter le langage des fleurs et de la nature. Faire le lien entre leur façon de s'offrir au monde et la nôtre, entre leur qualité et notre état émotionnel du moment. S'inspirer du vivant. Honorer les éléments, l'eau, méditer pour les arbres.
Rencontrer le message vibratoire des fleurs dans un mandala dansé, des fleurs de plantes, d'arbres ou d'arbustes, à travers les élixirs floraux de Bach :
Le marronnier blanc parce qu'il nous invite pleinement à vivre dans l'ici et maintenant, à entrer pleinement aussi dans le cercle de danse.
Le noyer pour bien vivre le changement de saison et de rythme par exemple, mieux nous adapter.
Le chèvrefeuille : laisser s'envoler la nostalgie du passé, nous rattacher au fleuve de la vie, créer le moment présent s'offrant à nous, ré-inventer.
L'orme pour garder notre confiance en nos capacités à gérer nos responsabilités, pour mieux fixer nos priorités, bien nous organiser. La centaurée : elle nous invite à servir le monde tout en respectant nos besoins, nos aspirations, nos limites, notre être.
La mimule pour dépasser les craintes, s'aventurer vers le nouveau, l'inconnu.
Ou d'autres en fonction du moment et de l'énergie des danseurs/danseuses : le pommier sauvage, l'ajonc, le plumbago.
Dates : Les Lundis de 19H à 20h30 sur certaines dates
2024 : Lundis 22 janvier et 18 mars
Lieu : La Palme (11), salle multifonctions, avenue de la mer, accès escalier extérieur, face à la pharmacie
L’animatrice s'appelle Stéphanie Daspres.
Inscription et informations : 06 74 02 42 22 ou adunadanse@gmail.com
Participation (paiement sur place) :
10 euros adhérents Armonia, 15 euros pour non adhérents
Description
Stage de danses des Fleurs de Bach suivi d'un déjeuner.
Animé par Stéphanie Daspres, conseillère en élixirs floraux.
Accessible à tous sans pré-requis ni expérience préalable de la danse.
Plus d'informations sur simple demande par mail : adunadanse@gmail.com
In my efforts to only go on dates where a connection was established by phone, Vanilla Man thwarted my radar. He was very good on paper, had decent (yet not very clear) pics, and on the phone he was witty and charming.
In person – eh. He’d said he was my age, but he looked and seemed years older. I just found him so terribly uninteresting.
Walking home, I picked up Tasti D-Lite “frozen dessert”, as they call their low-fat product. I chuckled as I considered the comparison between the dessert and my date: bland, not a whole lot of flavor, and easily forgettable.
I think I’m going to go on dating hiatus for a while, with the exception of UN. I like him, but still mentally trying to take it very slowly.
Lots of fun plans with friends coming up over the next week (a baseball game, parties), so there will be plenty of worthwhile distractions from dating. Good.
After 100 first dates, I need a break.
Well – I tried.
In my efforts to only go on dates where a connection was established by phone, Vanilla Man thwarted my radar. He was very good on paper, had decent (yet not very clear) pics, and on the phone he was witty and charming.
In person – eh. He’d said he was my age, but he looked and seemed years older. I just found him so terribly uninteresting.
Walking home, I picked up Tasti D-Lite “frozen dessert”, as they call their low-fat product. I chuckled as I considered the comparison between the dessert and my date: bland, not a whole lot of flavor, and easily forgettable.
I think I’m going to go on dating hiatus for a while, with the exception of UN. I like him, but still mentally trying to take it very slowly.
Lots of fun plans with friends coming up over the next week (a baseball game, parties), so there will be plenty of worthwhile distractions from dating. Good.
He thinks he is someone who has something to gain by believing in ideas which destroy civil society because he values appearing popular more than any morals or principals and he would be sound in thinking so. This is a cultural problem related to the decline in honor, and spread of feminine influence. When people have no incentive to be moral, think sound thoughts, maintain their own honor –then these ideas do not form the basis of an individuals conduct. Jack Dorsey’s company Twitter was attacked by Jesse Jackson for not being diverse enough and instead he acquiesced to “voluntary audits”. He could and should have told Jesse Jackson to fuck off. The elite seem to believe they are immune to bad ideas but soon there will be nowhere to run to even for them.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 20 Thumb down 0
Burnt Crib August 19, 2014 at 01:23
He’s like Bane.
Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0
Wandering MGTOW August 19, 2014 at 01:45
What is it about human nature that makes people want to destroy the world, like some comic book villain? All I can come up with is it’s some kind of self-loathing thing, the human equivalent of too many rats in too small a cage.
There won’t be too many learned studies shedding light on this. Our colleges are taken over by sympathizers cheering the rioters on. None of them are going to risk their tenure by bucking political correctness. No, they owe their jobs to PC in the first place.
Like or Dislike: Thumb up 11 Thumb down 1
Glenn August 19, 2014 at 04:29
One of the interesting aspects of this debate is the effort of some to defend the actions of law enforcement. It would appear that some people honestly think that a cop acting as judge jury and executioner against one citizen will somehow refrain from administering the same manner of summary judgement against them. Point being, once a dog goes rabid, it will bite anyone and everyone, regardless of socioeconomic or ethnic considerations.
Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 12
Xtothat August 19, 2014 at 04:50
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Description
Célébration de la journée globale des danses sacrées en cercle.
Arboretum Mas Roussillon (entre Perpignan et Canet)
Animée par Stéphanie Daspres & Zsanna Sebesteny
Participation 15€ (dont 5€ pour le travail de conservation de l'arboretum)
The bread and butter of the Natural. It’s not bad, I mean a 6.5 is alright, most guys wouldn’t complain or anything…but understand that his “200 lays” aren’t all gorgeous 9s and 10s like him and his buddies and his reputation will try to convince you. :)
Always try to find out what happened, with these Naturals. Like next time you hang out with Mark, ask him “man so how’d it go with those girls? I had to take off early but I saw you guys sitting with some girls? Were they Roger’s friends?” and just find out for your own reference experience. A lot of the time you’ll hear them go “who? oh those ones, nah, they go to school with Roger and he totally got her number but then we lost them so we just found some other girls” (aka it’s not that impressive after all).
The funny part to me is when Naturals tell the story and they’re like “oh ya I took this girl home…she was pretty cute, decent looking.” That’s code for “I banged a 4 and hope no one ever sees her and finds out” lol Naturals do this kind of thing all the time…I know because I’ve been there WITH Naturals while they pick up these chicks, and then I hear them telling the story to other guys lol
I never shit on them though, I just go “lol ya that chick was horny as fuck, good job man you got her so fast, you guys should’ve seen it!” and help perpetuate the myth and his reputation…because a Natural who’s in a shitty mood is like a big fucking whiny crybaby lol, and I generally try to make sure my whole group feels good and awesome and confident when we go out because I want my buddies to feel like the shit the way I do so we all kill it as a group and all have a blast…so ya, I could be like “Dude, that girl was NASTY!! lol” and tool him in front of everyone, but then what kind of vibe are we going out with? Depression, hostility, insecurity, competitiveness, etc. That’s no fun. :)
“maybe I kind of bitched out”
Nah, you ran a set and you plowed through a bunch of shit-tests and resistance and scored an ioi, that fuckin counts! VICTORY!!! :) During the week Tyler only goes out for like 20 minutes and just opens a few sets…it’s just about getting into that routine where approaching people feels natural instead of weird.
Description
An exploration of our emotional response to Biodiversity Loss and Climate Change. Ending the day with positive actions! (event in English and in England, timing in calendar is UK time)
Description
Atelier de Travail qui Relie dans un lieu de ressourcement
Accueillir la rosée solaire au cœur de nos forces intérieures et inviter son rayonnement vital à ensemencer nos élans régénérateurs
Inspiré par la vision et les enseignements de Joanna Macy, ce travail nous aide à renforcer notre bien-être, notre vitalité, nos ressources intérieures et nos liens communautaires face aux incertitudes liées à la transition sociale et écologique.
Hope, I am not sure “STEM” people are as separate a group as is often implied. There are a lot of people who get engineering or math degrees but whose careers ultimately involve leadership of lots of other things than pure STEM work. The current CEO of GE, Jeff Immelt, for example is was an engineering major (EE), as was his predecessor Jack Welch (chem engineering). (I don’t think anyone ever accused Welch of insufficient Alpha or of lack of success with women!) Many venture capitalists have STEM backgrounds; I’ve known several guys with engineering degrees who became business-to-business sales managers, a job that to be done right requires lots of Alpha AND lots of Beta.
I don’t think there’s any question that much of the media has a negative view of people doing STEM work, probably in part because of their own cluelessness about these fields. This is not new, though…in 1959, General Bernard Schriever, who ran the Air Force missile programs, felt moved to issue the following protest about things that concerned him in the culture:
“In my view it is a national disgrace that the term ‘egghead’ as a synonym for intellectual excellence has become a derogatory expression. Let me tell you that it is the ‘eggheads’ who are saving us–just as it was the ‘eggheads’ who wrote the Constitution of the United States. It is the ‘eggheads’ in the realm of science and technology, in industry, in statecraft, as well as in other fields who form the first line of freedom’s defense.”
Hope
November 20, 2011 at 12:16 PM
How likely is it that any given STEM graduate goes on to become a big name? Probably about as likely as an arts and theater graduate goes on to become a major star. For example this guy went to the same university I did. I saw a lot of arts and theater majors, and attended plays performed by some of them. As an aside, at that same university, the campus was literally divided between the STEM majors (north campus) and arts majors (south campus).
Most people are not going to be huge successes or household names. How many people worked for Microsoft, SUN, Oracle, etc. and helped pioneer the technologies that we use today? How many of those people are actually famous? The culture in general does not venerate all STEM guys, just those who make it big. By that point, they are no longer seen as nerds anyway. They’re “cool.”
Fear. Going to my next performance, alone. No greeting kiss at the end. Having an audience, but missing the one. Trying on a new style, teaching a new class, then not downloading it all over red wine and slices of tomato from the garden. Coming home instead to my cat and the pint of ice cream I shouldn’t have bought.
Fear. Incessantly checking the phone for a text that won’t be there. Since I was in the other room though, it could have beeped without me hearing it. Twice, because it always beeps once letting me know it arrived, then waits somewhere between 5-10 minutes and beeps again to remind me to pick-up-the-fuckin’-phone already. Twice to let me know that if I think I might have missed the first, not hearing it beep again after 5-10 minutes emphatically states without a shadow of a doubt there is no good morning text, mid-day check-in, or good night message.
Fear. Only the good stuff remains. The circle fights where we end up both quiet, worn, and wearily eying the other after battling opposite sides as if we were speaking two different languages, or at least dialects where the accent is too thick to understand, fade out. The desire for him to own his anxiety and share that with me, the desire for me to not be so up then down, diminishes. Daily connection seems the supreme point of being human. Lacking that makes one feel less than so.
Fear. Trying desperately to push the loneliness away, or at least not get stuck in the spiral of servitude to the devil of desire. Knowing I can take all the booze, pot, sugar in the world and scoop it into a pile on my living room floor and nose-dive into its abyss, only to come out with a bigger hole in the pit of my stomach. But desire reaches up and grabs me by the neck when someone isn’t there to steady me with an outstretched arm. (Though we are all always alone and never fully so.)
Fear. Lacking clarity. Not feeling like reaching out. Seeing him with another her. Wondering if it’s me and my inability to accept others for who they are. Wondering if it’ll always be that way. Meeting another him. Accepting a date even when I look at him and think, “no way in hell.” Missing universal connection due to wallowing. Waking up at 3 in the morning and not being able to go back to sleep. Feeling like a fraud. Making a mistake. Having made the biggest mistake.
Formation à l'animation du Travail qui Relie de Joanna Macy
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Formation à l'animation du Travail qui Relie de Joanna Macy auprès de Roseaux Dansants et leurs partenaires Transalquimia. Formation en français, qui a lieu dans les Pyrénées Catalanes en Espagne.
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Ensemble, Cap vers un avenir durable en Occitanie !
3 jours pour réunir toutes les parties prenantes (entreprises, associations, particuliers, institutions, enseignement) autour de 5 thèmes : l'alimentation, la mobilité, le coopération, l'économie circulaire et la culture, tisser des liens et mutualiser nos énergies et nos moyens au service de la transition.
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Are you thirsty for some further exploration of the ripples Active Hope can send out into the oceans of world consciousness?
Dive with us into the spring-water well of pooled reflections!
Add your drops of water to put out the fires that are drying up our world!
Come for a refreshing swim in the waters of collective creativity!
Allow yourselves to float away on the waves of imaginative storytelling and to sail together towards a clearer image of the different styles of boats that the Circles of Active Hope and Work That Reconnects can become, to stay on course for the Great Turning.
hi, yes I’ve actually been cheated on in the past. And no not really, she does normal and ‘okay’ things that I should not be jealous of it but I am. When she’s with her friends or something like that, and she talks to me on the phone or I see picture of it later on, she seems to have so much fun when I’m not with her, and I put in my head that she is actually having more fun when I’m not there. And every other guy is like flirting with her and teasing her all the time, believe me she’s very attractive all every other man that know her will say that too, but this makes me so jealous. Like other guys commenting on his profile pic on facebook and says, wow you’re hot, right after my message who says : you’re too beautiful babe, love you forever my love <3. I know I should not be jealous but… Also her ex started to text her and said that they should hang out sometimes, I heard that one from his girlfriend who accidentally saw his text messages. When I heard it, it was like, 100 conclusion in my head, (he’s falling back for her, she’s falling back for him, etc). But yes I’ve been cheated on the past,
cele Says:
September 1st, 2010 at 11:01 am
@DB – read and re-read what Midori wrote on June 30th, 2010 at 12:52 am.
yes it is hard to swallow and accept because you want it work so much. the signs are there – take heed. consider this – in your darkest hour, at your worst, would you ever do those things to her ? if yes, then i guess you two are meant for each other. if no, then realize that she is doing these things because you are not important in her life right now. its great that you are around and she probably recognizes a lot of good qualities in you but she does not value you enough right now. the way you feel about her is probably the way she feels about her ex.
so, if you are a glutton for punishment, stick around – she may eventually give up on her ex and if you are still around she may then decide that you are now the man in her life. the operative word here being “MAY”. she may also NOT choose you even after she has moved on.
i would suggest that you start dating other women. this does several things for you:
1) you eventually stop focusing on her so much because you start to see other great women out there.
2) you start to improve your sense of self worth as you discover other women who actually appreciate you
3) even if you eventually end up together with her, you will no longer accept being mistreated
4) she will value you more as she realizes that there are other women who want you – you will now be worth fighting for
5) you may actually meet another woman that will outshine her into a distant memory of a low moment in your life
MidoriLei Says:
September 2nd, 2010 at 4:50 pm
cele, you give wise counsel:) thanks for your input!
As a connoisseur of ghosts of times past, watching children all born since 2000 finagle and fumble with past technology is awesome. Such brings us to this KIDS REACT video as the kids are presented with walkmans/walkmen(?…I feel dumber) trying to figure out how it works (and why?). Predictably, their reactions are hilarious. It’s one of those moments that you wonder about when you’re younger. I remember saying to myself back in the day when CDs came out what future generations were going to be using. And then Napster and Audiogalaxy, etc hit the scene and then the burst of the MP3 player. No Zune.
Also, these kids are hilarious. Fun facts are displayed throughout and did you all know that when Walkman’s first dropped, they were $200??? When presented with this fact some kids are like, thats a ripoff…but one smart, wise, and clearly reasonable chap points out that some iPhones cost upwards of $700. Smart man young man. Smart man.
So take your time young man and don’t you rush to get old. And enjoy what life was probably like for us when many of us were listening to our walkmans and our parents pulled out an 8-track of Betty Wright. What’s also interesting is how inconvenienced the kids seem – possibly for show – by them. Walkmans/Walkmen(?…still feel dumb) were and are remarkbly simple devices. Definitely easier to use than an MP3 player. The kids seem to disagree.
Respect due to my man who when given headphones states that he’s such a 90s baby though he wasn’t even born in the 90s. No RKelly.
If you are a person who both has a Twitter account and are in any way plugged into Black Twitter then your day was full of the most hilarious ridiculousness of the Mimi vs Nikko (and I call a versus because there are shower rods involved, that almost makes it a competition) sex tape that “leaked” via, well, whoever it leaked via.
Hi. I'm Mimi. This is going to go bad quickly.
Hi. I’m Mimi. This is going to go bad quickly.
232Corey July 18, 2011 at 7:27 pm
LOL! I see what you did there.
Reply
233Yonnie 3000 July 18, 2011 at 7:55 pm
LMAO! This reminded me of Friday when Smokey was like, “My mama don’t like a whole lotta people in the care when I pick her up from work…” and it was just one person, lol.
I think I’m fine with compliments, I smile (or grin), say thanks and move on. Most times I don’t even feel that awkward need to reciprocate immediately.
For a guy looking for an opening though, a smile and a compliment is the ultimate green light. If a smile and a look can signal interest, then in his mind, a smile and a compliment is a sign of a sure thing.
Reply
235MizzCam July 18, 2011 at 2:39 am
LOL @ that link. So true.
Reply
236Wild Cougar July 18, 2011 at 10:32 am
It’s a sign of a sure thing? This is dude logic and the reason women don’t generally compliment men. Um…..no, its not a sign of a sure thing. It’s a sign that she likes your tie, or whatever she said. You need more information before you can come to the conclusion that she wants to get naked.
Reply
237WayUPThere July 18, 2011 at 11:34 am
by “sure thing,” i think he was referring to the idea that the women was/is somewhat interested (and that interest can go from very slight to whatever) in the man she complimented
107Todd July 18, 2011 at 8:58 am
That is a cute t-shirt you’re wearing. :)
Reply
108Tonya July 18, 2011 at 11:11 am
AWWWW… blush. Thank you. <3
Reply
109Wild Cougar July 18, 2011 at 9:54 am
You have a cute nose
Reply
110Tonya July 18, 2011 at 11:14 am
THANKS!! This is the first time I’ve every been complimented about my nose. Except from my grandpa, who then takes the opportunity to grab it between two of his fingers and squeezes.
*mental note..need to call grandpa..
Reply
111Maximillian July 18, 2011 at 1:00 am looks @ word… tries to sound it out…
Com-pli-ment?
adds to word-a-day calendar
Actually, I have received compliments, but mainly things like, “you’re smart” or, “you’re sensible…”
Will it get me a loan? Probably. But Laid? not so much…
Reply
112sunshyne84 July 18, 2011 at 2:56 am
but girls like smart guys
Let me start this on a sunny note: the fabulous Mimi invited me to her place for a lovely Christmas Day brunch (my family does a very casual Jewish Christmas Eve get-together -- ie, we just sit around and eat all day). I not only met her mom and a few friends -- I met the famous Funny Guy! He IS funny -- and charming and smart, as you might expect. They look so happy together, and I'm thrilled for them.
I wrote this on Saturday:
Thanks again for your words of support re: the situation with New Guy. Deep down, I still don’t think he’s a bad guy – but at this point, it feels rather pointless to try to continue a friendship with him. If I have even an inkling of feelings for him (which I guess I do, considering my reaction to the news about his girlfriend having their baby) – then I can only imagine how awful it would be to eventually MEET this girlfriend (and baby, in the future).
It’s as if a strong wind came along and blew away that dark cloud I was under – thankfully, it only lasted about 24 hours (and was exacerbated from the lousy night of sleep I had that night). I’m pretty much fine now – the funk has lifted. Life goes on!
In other news (also written on Saturday):
I have a feeling Smiley will soon be history. (hm, yet another one-month “relationship”, following Capt Awesome). I knew more or less from the start that he wasn’t looking for anything serious (he’s currently unemployed and considering a career transition, and needs to focus on himself right now). For a little while, I figured, we’re having such a good time, so it’s OK – a part of me was thinking, in a few months’ time he’ll have a job, and we’ll have grown closer, and all will be fabulous. We were spending so much time together that it certainly felt like the makings of a relationship.
But now – the little signs that he’s just not for me are adding up, and I’m finally paying attention to them. He can be very sweet and lovely – but he can also go on these 15-minute soliloquies, talking about whatever subject interests him at the moment (a certain type of music or the intricasies of brewing beer), without gauging MY interest. I do listen, and try to give input – but sometimes it’s just a bit much, a bit self-absorbed. I didn’t mind at first, but the fact that I DO now is quite telling. Just one example.
Even more telling: I’ve noticed that he seems a bit less into “us” than on previous dates. The last time or two I saw him (we had dinner a few nights ago), he didn’t seem as affectionate as in the past. I haven’t decided yet if we should have “the talk”, or if this will die of natural causes. Will feel it out.
Seeing Quentin again tonight – and even more exciting, I’m meeting his dog! I have a serious case of dog envy, as I can’t have one in my apartment. I’m sure I’ll absolutely adore his pooch, which will surely only garner points for me.
Today's update:
I did have the talk with Smiley after all -- you know when something is just building up inside you, and you just have to get it out? Yes -- that.
I don't have the energy to go into details right now, but to sum it up: same issue as from the start -- I want something serious, and he doesn't. There was more to it -- it was a very sweet, open, honest talk -- why do these talks usually seem to come at the end? Seriously.
We were at his place, and he asked if I'd like to spend one last night together -- I did. I'm having trouble putting this into words (maybe because I'm crying... again!), but it might have been the most romantic, warmest, most affectionate time we've had together. Saying goodbye this morning was quite bittersweet. We talked about maybe hanging out every so often, and he said he'd follow my lead -- but that might be tough, emotionally. We'll see.
Oh, how cliched, not appreciating something til it's gone! Or -- maybe it's just wanting what you can't have? Or both? I think I'm extra-emotional right now from not sleeping well, combined with a hefty dose of PMS -- what a lethal combination! AND combined with overall dating frustration / fatigue -- oy!
Then there's Quentin -- we had another date over the weekend. I met the dog, who was sweet as anything. But later, kissing Quentin, I realized -- we don't have very good kissing chemistry. Can't explain it... and I felt terrible, as I couldn't help but think of the wonderful chemistry I have (had) with Smiley. Anyway, it's not a deal-breaker. These things can sometimes work themselves out. Not sure if / when I'll see him again.
3. DO ask at least one question in each email. Some people have a hard time figuring out what to write in an email, so make it easy by giving at least one question he can respond to. Unless he’s got the personality of corduroy, he should be able to carry the conversation for at least a paragraph from there.
4. DON’T rant. A quick, funny line about people in your building taking the elevator for just one floor is one thing; composing a five-paragraph essay on the growing laziness and general self-absorption of people today is just obnoxious.
5. DO wait at least half a day to reply. Not only do you risk looking like you’ve got nothing else going on besides waiting by your computer for an email from him, replying too soon can make him feel a little stressed over keeping up with your pace.
6. DON’T confess all. This isn’t therapy — save your secrets, insecurities, and stifled anger at your mother for your best friend or shrink. If you want to confess something, confess that you skipped your weekend workout to hit a fringe theater fest in your neighborhood instead. At least that gives him an idea about your hobbies and interests.
7. DO be cautious sharing personal info, including your last name, off-site email address, and, of course, home address. This should go without saying, I hope.
8. DON’T give details about where you work. It compromises your job and your personal security.
8:00 p.m.: I am hungry and irritable. I order Chinese food and fall asleep to Millionaire Matchmaker. Tomorrow I plan on making a trip to Governor’s Island for the Dutch festival. I fantasize about tall blonde men in clogs…hot. It will be another day.
The premise: after “hooking up”, along with the stench of body sweat and God knows what else, an uncomfortable question hangs in the air: “do I have to stay over?”
The rule: one does not, indeed, should not, stay over at his or her partner’s abode after having relations, IF it’s between the frequency of 1 and 4 occurrences.
I don’t know where it came from. I have re-hosted it.
MidoriLei Says:
October 28th, 2011 at 5:30 pm
Scratch thanks for sharing! Lol!
Charline Moine Says:
December 19th, 2011 at 1:21 pm
Excellent article and easy to understand explanation. How do I go about getting permission to post part of the article in my upcoming news letter? Giving proper credit to you the author and link to the site would not be a problem.
Random Guy Says:
January 1st, 2012 at 8:13 am
Wow! this discussion is still going strong. One thing…Noah’s name. Just like the Bible, Noah’s divine obsession was to build an Ark to rescue the animals. So could the house be the ark? And Allie the animal (helpless creature) that needs to be rescued? Does not seem very equal in the relationship, disrespectful to the character that is Allie. And Noah’s motivation was divinely inspired, not really in his control. Guess that is what love is.
MidoriLei Says:
January 2nd, 2012 at 1:39 pm
Random guy… Wow what a metaphor! I think every girl wants to be “saved” in some way whether they want to admit it or not. Maybe Allie is more like Noah’s family who he saved and less like the animals? But I do agree with love being divinely inspired… That’s how men know when they want to marry a woman. It’s that sureness that comes from your gut.
on June 2, 2010 at 6:05 amjohnny five
The difference is that feminists should know better.
bullshit.
most feminists are the female equivalent of high-iq pale male nerds who live in their basements.
remember:
BOTH
(a) disconnect from the real world, and
(b) specialization of knowledge, at the direct expense of breadth,
INCREASE with iq.
consider the aforementioned pale nerds. they probably know much about debugging unix systems, and perhaps about bilking free iphone apps, but they will almost certainly know LESS about EVERYTHING ELSE in the world.
less about relationships.
less about race reality.
less about how to fix cars.
less about how to fix broken friendships.
less about successful networking.
less about people who are not exactly like themselves.
the higher the iq, the less acquainted i would expect the person to be with the sordid realities of real reality, although granted they would probably be better at conceptualizing such realities in the abstract.
and feminists?
high iq pale nerd women, mostly too unattractive in both persona and physicality for real relationships (partly by design), who exist largely in the purposely cloistered world of academia?
they should ‘know better’?
sounds like you should know better.
dude, feminism is just the base female biological urge (obtain alpha seed when ready to breed, exploit the rest of the male population to the fullest) writ large.
feminism is absolutely nothing other than the primal nature of women, freed from the shackles imposed by
…
… wait for it …
…
religion.
Tribal mentality, matriarchal piss poor rules, ignorance or feminism. This man could face all that here in Politically Correct west. He could be accused of “prejudice against different cultures”, or a man trying to rule women spaces (like those poor as f*ck tribes), or could even be put into oblivion by being a man facing woman issues (like feminists make as they wish here). He succeeded because he could care less about all this and made PROGRESS.
We run the risk of running down centuries of MASSIVE advancements in quality of life and progress to return to such blatantly nonhuman conditions. All for bullshit like politically correctness, forced equality and women’s freedom for whoring above all.
FFS, these people can’t make a dollar a day! They see evil on a piece of cloth used for hygiene. Between return to that (actually DEGRADING to that, as real patriarchal tribes were way more advanced) and being extinct, humanity may as well stop existing.
Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 0
highwasp July 25, 2014 at 15:22
A break down of The Evil-White-Male-Patriarchy 1933 to present:
[From Steve Moxon’s ~ The Woman Racket ~ PDF]
“The whole enterprise exported itself to the USA in 1933 with the
rise of Hitler, who was a direct competitor in that he had his own
ideas about revolution that radically dispensed with the Marxist
analysis of class warfare. There was no option other than exile, and
here they could dedicate themselves in a comfortable if still more
alienated ivory tower to indulge in the usual quest of thinkers in
Western civilization: that of biting the hand that fed them. Now
without any contact with reality, and a zest for revenging Nazism,
the Frankfurters ascribed to Nazis a supposed distinct authoritarian
personality that rendered all individual adherents psychologically
unbalanced. This was then applied generally to people living in
western civilization as the answer to why the workers weren’t
revolting.
“Hey Soul Sister, ain’t that mister mister….a la la la” Whoops! You caught me right in the middle of a song, how embarrassing! But not really. Would you like to hear something else? I know such a WIDE VARIETY! Ever hear of Dave Matthews, Led Zeppelin, Dave Matthews, Green Day, or Dave Matthews? I know it all, and yeah, I taught myself how to play…no big deal.
On a Friday, or any other night of the week, you can find me pathetically strumming the 3 chords I know in a crowd of people that doesn’t want me there. You may, at times, catch yourself violently swatting your hands in the air because you think a nasty swarm of bees is nearby, but don’t worry! It’s just me, crooning the wrong lyrics to “Free Bird” and causing your eardrums physical pain.
I’d love to get to know you get to know me while I get to know myself better. Do you know what I mean? It’s OK if you don’t because baby, I already wrote you a song about it. Maybe you’ll get to hear it sometime over a pricey caramel mocha right after I tell you about my useless history degree and how much pot I smoke. Well, I’ve gotta run – off to an open mic night in my buddy’s basement. Can’t wait to make you cringe while I sing off-key, strum softly, and stare at you without breaking eye contact.
I was going to go to the city I just recently moved from for my birthday, but then I found out they were hosting a big event that weekend, and that made me not want to go.
So, I last minute scrambled to make other plans…. a place with casinos? Some other city?
At the end, I couldn’t really put shit together in time and get all of my friends (who are spread out in different cities) to agree to converge on one location and do it big.
So, what was I going to do? Short Model wanted me to come down to the city I just moved from.
Then, Shit Talker texted me to see if I would be in town…
I still wasn’t sure yet…
And, then…. A couple of days before my birthday, Crush texted me.
Her, 7:49 pm: Hey! Coming to [city] for [event]??
I start thinking… hell, I’m on a hot streak! I’m more alpha than I was before, I’ve grown my hair out, I’m in better shape, I dress better… and I’m bolder in what I want, more willing to dominate and take control of a situation. I’m a totally different dude than I was a year ago, when I played Wii with her on my 24th birthday. A year later, and a new man. If I can get her out to a bar and buy me a drink, I might could actually fuck her this time around….
It’s a thought. Plus, I would also love to fuck Short Model. If neither her nor Crush pan out that night, I could use Shit Talker as a backup plan. I mean, I have 3 different chicks hitting me up wanting to see me this weekend in my old city, why go to another city and have to put in work sarging for new chicks?
Plus, my stats in my old city are pretty good lately. The last 5 times I’ve been to visit for the weekend – I’ve SNL’d a chick 3 of them. 3 out of 5. That’s pretty solid stats. I wish my game was that solid here in my hometown. Shit, it could’ve been 4 out of 5, if Dr. Know It All wasn’t a square.
So, I text Crush back:
Me, 8:57 pm: I’ll prob come down Sat
Her, 9:01 pm: Oh ok. You celebrating a bday too right? Well it would be nice to see you when you are here.
Me, 9:14 pm: Yep. I’ll text you when I’m down there then. You can come buy me a drink for my bday
Her, 9:53 pm: Sounds good!
So, it’s settled. I’m going to my old city… again. For my birthday.
The plan: Get a couple of my friends together, go to a bar and get Crush and Short Model to come to the bar I’m at. Play them off of each other. Let both of them see me with the other one. Both of them are solid 8′s at least. Both of them have done some “modeling” before, but both are too short to be actual models. Make them compete for me. Game both of them, and see which one is the surer thing for the night… and, go home with her.
If that doesn’t work, just fuck Shit Talker again.
Or, sarge new girls.
Plenty of options.
That’s the plan….
Friday night, I fuck Ghetto Club again. Short Model calls me when I’m with her, but I don’t answer… too busy getting my first piece of birthday pussy in. :)
Before, I head out of town Saturday, Ghetto Club calls me to again wish me happy birthday and tell me to have fun while I’m out of town… she also throws in this little quip: “don’t fuck any hookers while you’re down there…” Lol. I don’t agree to that, I just change the topic.
When, I head out, I call Short Model back to let her know I’m on the way.
“Happy Birthday!! I thought you might be down here last night, that’s why I called you last night. Call me when you get down here, then…” she says something like that. Short conversation.
I get into town and head over to Frat Boy’s place. For some reason, I get the idea to call Platonic Friend.
She wishes me Happy Birthday and says she’ll stop by Frat Boy’s place in a little bit.
A quick backstory on her: Frat Boy tried to talk to her four years ago. He took her on a romantic Valentine’s date and bought her a stuffed animal and then got LBJF’d when she got back with her ex boyfriend a week later. Four years later, Frat Boy and her are like brothers and sisters. I’m always a bit of an asshole to her, but we’re cool.
So, I’m chilling with Frat Boy and she shows up.
“Oh my gosh, I like your new look [Willy Wonka]. It’s really working for you!”
“I know.”
“Uggh! I don’t know why I tell you anything, like your ego needs a boost!”
I had already told Frat Boy about the plan for tonight, he doesn’t think it’ll work, he doesn’t get it, so he asks Platonic about it now.
“He thinks he can get two girls to come to the same bar and compete for him, tell him that shit’s not going to work.”
“Umm…. ” She looks at me, “Girls definitely compete for guys all of the time. I think it can work.”
“What?” He doesn’t get it, “why? I think a chick would be offended if he brought another chick too!”
“Yeah…” she says, “girls don’t think like that. Plus, it’s his birthday and it’s a bar, they have no right to get offended. I could definitely see them competing. It’s a good plan.”
“Told you, bro.” I say..
“Yeah, [Willy Wonka] knows what he’s doing, [Frat Boy]. You have to stop thinking like you sometimes with girls.” Damn, she’s putting Frat Boy on to game.
We go out to eat and I just continue to fuck with her an be an asshole towards her. Frat Boy comments on the place we eat at, “This is a nice place, I could take a chick here.”
I chime in quick, “Naw, that’s your first mistake. Don’t buy bitches food.”
Platonic chimes in, “Don’t listen to him!! He’s an asshole!”
I continue to be an asshole and fuck with her about shit. Every once in a while, I’ll tone it down and throw in a comment or something.
After we finish eating, I go to the restroom, they go to the front to pay.
When, I walk back to where they are, Frat Boy speaks up, “[Platonic] is going on and on about how good you look, bro. She really likes your new style.”
She screams out, “Oh my gosh! Why would you tell him that! His ego does not need boosting! Who’s side are you on?”
“I’m not on a side, I’m team neutral.” He says.
I just laugh.
We head back to the apartment. Trying to plan the night. Another dude is going to come over and he’s going to drive down with Frat Boy and Platonic and I are going to ride downtown together, if I get fucked up, she’s the DD on the way back if I need it.
She goes home to get dressed and it’s just Frat Boy and I chilling again, watching TV. He looks at me, “Actually bro, I think you could fuck [Platonic Friend] tonight if you wanted to.”
“Yeah, I was just thinking the same thing…. “
“She’s excited about going out with you, she’s heard so much about you with women, she wants to see your game. She’s also feeling your new look.”
It’s an interesting idea, another option perhaps. I’m thinking I could just continue being an asshole to her and at some point, late in the night after we both have a couple of drinks in our system, I might make a move on her….
But, my current plan is to get Crush and Short Model out and compete for me. Short Model calls me around this time. ”Are you down here, yet?”
“Naw, about to head out now. We’ll be downtown in like 10 minutes.”
It’s a fucking lie. With parking and all of that, we don’t make it down there for another hour and a half.
We head out. The three of us. Our other friend will just meet us down there. There’s so many people downtown for [event] that the streets are packed. We park far as fuck. And walk. Frat Boy goes back with the other guy when he shows up, to help him find parking and walk into downtown with him. So, now it’s just me and Platonic together. I’m leading the way. She’s holding on to me so she doesn’t get lost. I text Crush and Short Model,
Me, 12:21 am: Just getting downtown…. you down here?
It takes Short Model 20 minutes to respond and say “yeah”, Crush never does.
We finally get to where the good bars are, I go into a bar and text Crush, Short Model, and Frat Boy
Me, 12:58 am: In [bar]
Yeah, 12:58 am. Bars close at 2am. Do you see how long it took us just to get out and get to a bar? That’s mistake number one….
I head to the bar, it’s so packed, I just buy a drink for me and Platonic, because I don’t feel like dealing with it.
So, her and I are together, drinking, dancing. I’m fucking with her, pulling her hair…. having a good time.
She’s into it.
I feel like she’s becoming a real option for tonight at this point.
Frat Boy and the other dude finally show up and we leave to go to another bar.
I decide to call Short Model. She tells me she’s on the corner of [street] and [street]. I’m close by, so we head over there. It’s so crowded, I can’t find her. I also can’t hear what she’s saying on the phone, so I just hang up.
She calls me back, but my phone isn’t working and I can’t answer.
I try to call her back, but my phone isn’t calling out. So many people down here, cell phone service is bullshit.
How am I supposed to find a 5’3″ girl in a crowd of people. I stop to hang out there for a couple of minutes. Frat Boy and Platonic don’t like this. ”Let’s go in another bar! Let’s move around from here!”
I decide to walk around to where I think Short Model may be standing… I couldn’t really hear her on the phone, so I’m not 100 percent sure. As I’m walking, Platonic is behind me, pushing me, “No, go this way!”
I don’t listen her. I stop and lean back on her just to fuck with her.
She keeps complaining, “Forget this girl, you can meet up with her later when the bars close, let’s go get another drink.”
Again, I’m not listening to her. She keeps pushing me in the back. I lean back and get serious, “Say. Stop pushing me like that. I’m not even playing with you.”
I expect her to take the hint. And I continue to walk around, I turn to go in one direction and I hear her say, “No, go this way!” I don’t listen and step towards the direction I was going in and she fucking shoves me from behind. I snap, I turn around and my hand goes across my chest. I don’t push her back or anything, I just got that real aggressive pissed off look on my face and I yell something at her like, “I told you to chill with that shit!” Frat Boy jumps in between us like we were two dudes about to fight or something.
It’s the look on my face that gets to her I think. Her eyes get big. She’s shocked.
I keep walking. We head over towards other bars. Frat Boy comes over to me, “You made [Platonic] mad man, she won’t even talk to me now.”
I go over towards her, “[Platonic], come here for a second.” She moves away from me. Won’t even look at me, or talk to me. She’s done for the night.
I get kind of mad about that and let it piss me off for the rest of the night. What the fuck is wrong with her? I think to myself. Why is she acting like a little fucking girl? She shouldnt’ve been pushing me like that, I warned her to stop….
I go rouge from the group. I don’t feel like dealing with any of them right now.
I find another group of friends and just post up outside of a bar with them. The lights in the bars are coming on now, shit’s closing. The night’s over.
Frat Boy texts me and says their heading back to the car. I ignore it, and continue to walk around the streets by myself. I try to call Shit Talker… she answers, “Hey [Willy Wonka]!” but after that I can’t hear what she said. Too many people around, too loud. I hang up, and decide to hit a side street where no people are to call her back.
By the time I get to a side street, I need to piss, so I piss in the back alley somewhere, then I think about if I should call Shit Talker or Short Model.
I decide to call Short Model one last time.
She answers. She’s already at her car, “where’d you park?” I ask. She tells me.
“What are you trying to do?” She asks.
I kind of avoid the question. Not bold enough on the phone I guess. I just tell her where I parked which is far, and tell her to come pick me up and take me to my car.
“Where are you right now?”
I tell her. ”Okay, yeah, I can do that, my friend parked over there and I have to drive her back to her car. I’ll drive over there and see if I see you, I’ll call you.”
“Alright.”
Not sure if this is going to work, but I feel lame standing on the corner by myself away from where all of the people are. I walk around a bit, and then walk back to the main part of downtown where all of the people are. i feel like I could just walk back to that corner when Short Model calls me to see where I am. I haven’t approached anything new all night and I feel like I should, but part of me doesn’t want to, I’m just too pissed off at the whole situation with Platonic Friend still. I’m starting to blame her for ruining my birthday. Which just pisses me off even more.
I open one chick who’s sitting down as I walk past, she just kind of looks at me and doesn’t respond. Whatever.
45 minutes or so pass and Short Model hasn’t called me. Or my phone isn’t working. Yeah, she’s not picking me up now.
I start to walk back toward my car. I try to call Frat Boy and Shit Talker, but my phone won’t even dial out, I’m getting some weird error message I’ve never gotten before, but it basically just means there’s too many fucking people around and the cell towers are on overload.
Now, I’m pissed at not only Platonic Friend, but also at Sprint. Frat Boy a little bit too. I’m basically blaming everybody but myself for the reason why I’m going home tonight with no notch.
I get back to my car, finally. It’s past 3am now. I call Shit Talker. Straight to voicemail.
I’m done now. The night’s over. I don’t want it to be, but it is. I have trouble accepting this and just sit in my car by myself. I think about just driving all the way home, I still feel awake. I wonder how many hours I can drive before I start to want to go to sleep.
Frat Boy texts me,
dont forget i got my wallet in your trunk and [platonic] needed her purse
Oh. I forgot their shit was in my trunk. Good thing I didn’t just start driving all the way home. I drive back to Frat Boy’s place and again, just sit there in my car, reflecting on the night.
I’m super pissed.
What a horrible 25th birthday I can’t stop thinking to myself. I go on a mini-depression bout while sitting there in the car… My life sucks, what the fuck? Why did I even come down here? I didn’t even want to, I knew it would be too crowded and it would suck. Then, I come down because three chicks hit me up wanting to see, and I wind up not seeing any of them. It’s probably over with Shit Talker now, because I was calling her looking desperate at 3am. It’s probably over with Short Model, because she left me on the corner and didn’t even pick me up to drive me to my car. Crush – fuck that bitch. Me and Platonic will probably never be friends again. Fuck that bitch, I should just take her purse and dump everything in it out on the floor – she fucking ruined my night, what a bitch. I start to sulk about everything bothering me in my life. School, work, etc.
Damn liqour.
I just happened to go on my Facebook app on my phone. I see Fiasco is online. I Facebook chat him,
“Worst 25th birthday ever.”
“What happened?”
I tell him everything…. all he says is “mhmmm” but for some reason. I now feel a lot better. I go inside and chill with Dr. Know It All for a bit, listening to music and telling him and his friend about my night. Then, I pass out on the floor.
Frat Boy and Platonic eventually make their way back home. I get up and try to talk to her. She still won’t even look at me. Frat Boy is trying to stop me, “Go back inside man, go back inside. I’ll talk to you about it in the morning….”
I have to say that, as far as trailers where the only women interviewed are in Greyhound station hair salons and the only men interviewed are at Kappa BBQs or prisons go, this wasn’t half bad. With that being said, there wasn’t any new insight. The crackheads selling lawnmowers outside of my barbershop could have told him that “good” Black men are single because they’re either too scared to commit or too full of themselves to even contemplate commitment, and they would have been much more entertaining interview subjects.
You know those assholes who never, ever, ever get sick and always feel the need to remind everyone any chance they get of the fact that they never, ever, ever get sick? You don’t? Well, congratulations. You’ve just met one of those assholes: Me.
I’m the guy who has never taken a true sick day at work and loves to remind people of that; the guy who will rock a blazer and a t-shirt on a 40 degree day and laugh at everyone who says I’m going to get sick; the guy who dated a person who had the freakin swine flu (seriously), slept in the same bed with her two nights in a row, and didn’t get as much as a sniffle.
Now, if this were a movie, the “I never get sick” guy would undoubtedly get some mysterious exotic elephant illness towards the middle of the movie as some sort of karmic payback for him incessantly bragging about his immune system. This character would probably be played by Jim Carrey or Dane Cook, and the title of the movie would probably be “Sick Day” or “No Flu Lou” or some shit.
My life isn’t a movie, but as you would have it, that exact thing happened to me. In early December I came down with some mysterious illness that kept me in bed for three days and made me take — no lie — approximately 40 shits in a 48 hour span. (Seriously, it got so bad that I actually fell asleep on the toilet three or four separate times because I was spending so much time sitting there)
By the 4th day, I started to feel strong enough to get out of bed and eat something. I was still very sick, but I was definitely getting better. By the fifth day, I was feeling so much better that I decided to leave the house. I had just received a phone call that the Ebony Magazine that had VSB on the Power 100 list was finally in stores, and I went to Giant Eagle to purchase a few copies.
After each outing, I’m out 60 bucks each time, you’ve still got the 20 you had in your purse. Tomorrow you can go shopping and buy those shoes you want and I can’t because I just went on my 6th date with you and I’ve spent about 250 bucks on you this month.
To keep paying the bulk of the bill 15 DATES in, is just ridiculous.
I agree with you Cali that the 1st date is on the guy, the 2nd, maybe even the 3rd, the man should probably get 80-100% of the bill (depending on the woman).
But after the 3rd date, it’s ridiculous to continue to expect a guy to drop cash that you could quite easily drop yourself.
After that amount of time the courtship dance is different, you’re dating the man, not the wallet. Don’t just OFFER to pay, just pull out SOME money without even asking and pay. THAT to me shows a sign of an independent, strong woman. One that understands that in the real world, people have money problems outside dating.
As a man, I’m not going to request that you pay, because I’m a man, I have pride. But half-assedly offering, or simply assuming i will, is just rude and inconsiderate. I might not bring it up right in from of you, but I will notice that and slightly resent you for it.
I’m a human being after all, with bills to pay of my own, accept and respect that.
So LADIES, if you like a guy, and yet are still unsure of the who pays rule, I’ve compiled a quick list below to help you navigate through this sticky situation:
Journée de découverte du collectif Reliance au Vivant
Description
S’offrir un temps pour se rencontrer à travers des pratiques d’Ecologie Profonde, inspirées pour cette journée de la spirale du Travail Qui Relie.
Ces pratiques nous permettent de nous découvrir en explorant notre créativité, notre sensorialité, notre imaginaire, notre rapport aux émotions et notre lien à la Toile du Vivant.
Elles seront partagées par deux facilitatrices du cercle cœur : Laure & Amaya.
Journée de découverte du collectif Reliance au Vivant
Description
Pratiques d'écologie profonde (Travail qui Relie) / Présentation du collectif / Temps d'échanges
Première étape pour entrer dans le collectif et participer aux journées d'expérimentation de pratiques en écologie profonde
Journée de Pratique de la Transition - Battement du Coeur du Mouvement !
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Rejoignez-nous pour la Journée de Pratique de la Transition 2025!
Inscrivez-vous à cet événement mondial en direct de 24 heures où vous pourrez partager des pratiques et écouter des expériences de groupes du monde entier!
Écoutez des transitionneurs et des groupes de Transition qui ont réussi à apporter des changements dans leurs communautés. Découvrez les pratiques et les conditions qui ont soutenu ces initiatives et ce qu'ils ont appris en chemin. Explorez comment appliquer ces pratiques et ces apprentissages dans votre propre contexte.
Description
Pelèrinage des feux Kiva: cérémonies de 4 jours avec prières et rituels de toutes les cultures ancestrales dans une offrande commune pour honorer la Terre sur les 5 continents. Pour l'Europe, ça sera en Italie. Les inscriptions ouvrent le 25 octobre 2024. Organisé par les Racines de la Terre, pour la Paix et l'Unité.
It’s almost St. Patrick’s Day, America. Time to pretend like you’re Irish. Don’t be deterred by the truth (that you’re just a white person who sometimes gets drunk on St. Patrick’s Day and who might’ve had a very distant ancestor who lived in or visited Ireland once or maybe England but what’s the difference). Instead, when you hit the bars (pubs) this March 17, convince people of your genuine Irishness by reciting a few of these gems (emeralds):
1. The potato famine occurred because Ireland’s most beloved restaurant (Bennigan’s) bought them all up to make their delicious Ultimate Potato Soup.
2. Ireland’s most popular tourist attraction is the Scottish Moors.
3. The secret ingredient in Guinness is the sweat Bono produces when he and The Edge play Dance Dance Revolution.
4. The song “Danny Boy” was penned by Shane MacGowan of the Pogues, an enthusiastic Who’s the Boss fan, as a loving tribute to Danny Pintauro.
5. Schools across Ireland have replaced their history teachers with TVs playing Far & Away and Leprechaun 3 on a loop. These are considered the most historically accurate representations of Irish culture.
6. Many Irish families have surnames beginning with “Mac.” These families are required by international law (iLaw) to relinquish 90% of their income to Apple, Inc.
7. The saying “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” was first uttered by Van Morrison’s dick in 1966 to a groupie at one of his concerts. “I’ve never heard a dick talk before,” admitted one bystander. “Sometimes I’m overcome thinkin’ bout it.”
8. The original recipe for Lucky Charms included pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers, blue diamonds, purple horseshoes, and black IRA machine guns.
9. In Ireland, Irish Spring soap is just called Spring. It’s made by Dial®.
10. There are no snakes in Ireland. They bailed in 1994 because they were sick of hearing The Cranberries on the radio. Mostly because of “Linger.”
Description
Le Hub Sud-Ouest France en Transition a le plaisir de vous inviter à un atelier en ligne pour découvrir et s’approprier une pratique au croisement de la transition intérieure et de la transition professionnelle : L’arbre de ma vie.
Cet atelier, co-facilité par Zsanna Sebesteny (Espérance en Mouvement) et Frédéric Gay (Hub Soft et Rabastinois en Transition), apporte un nouveau regard sur nos trajectoires de transition.
Nous commencerons par expérimenter cette pratique qui dure environ 40’. Puis, nous ferons un debrief afin que chacun-e puisse se l'approprier, et ainsi la faciliter en autonomie. Nous vous partagerons enfin d'autres pratiques parmi les multiples ressources de transition intérieure maintenant à notre disposition.
L'inscription est gratuite et obligatoire en envoyant un message à l’adresse suivante : sudouestfranceentransition@gmail.com car le nombre de participant-es est limité à 12. Le lien de la visioconférence vous sera envoyé avec la validation de votre inscription.
Pensez à vous munir d’une feuille de papier au moins A4 et de crayons de plusieurs couleurs.
Laisser être l’élan de vie, CNV Holistique, TQR et Présence
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Nos croyances, nos peurs et nos conditionnements nous coupent du simple élan de la vie. Nous passons à côté de l’évidence en donnant le pouvoir à des schémas de pensées.
Si nous laissions être les élans de vie en nous notre existence serait certainement profondément harmonieuse. Seulement cette simplicité apparente n’est pas si aisée à vivre, elle demande sensibilité et clarté. Nous vous invitons à l’explorer ensemble.
Nous expérimenterons une profonde écoute intérieure pour distinguer les besoins et les élans, des envies et des désirs.
Nous approfondirons l’ouverture et l’inclusion avec notre environnement pour agir en harmonie avec lui.
Nous mettrons en lumière les commentaires du mental psychologique pour ne pas se laisser mener et duper par lui.
Nous nous relierons à la Présence en nous jusqu’à réaliser que nous sommes en la Présence.
Nous vivrons des expérimentations croisées entre la CNV Holistique et le « Travail qui relie », avec le fil rouge de la Présence.
Ce « Travail qui relie » (travail au sens de traversée/transformation) nous relie à la vie en nous, aux autres et à la nature. Il se déroule au fil d’une spirale en quatre mouvements organiques : s’ancrer dans la gratitude, honorer nos souffrances, porter un nouveau regard et aller de l’avant.
Nous respecterons le surgissement spontané de l’instant dans l’écoute des besoins du groupe.
Animé par Jean-Philippe Faure et Géraldine Siméon.
Facilité par DOMINIQUE OWEN
Assistée de SARA BOUBAKER
HO Rites de passage - École québécoise en pratique rituelle
en résidence à 1h de Paris
Tarif: 315 € pour le stage
Lieu: Moulin de Lonceux (1h de Paris en train).
Certaines histoires sont porteuses de filon pour l'âme.
On les dit initiatiques. Elles mettent en perspective certains
aspects de nos vies et permettent d'opérer de profondes prises
de conscience. Nous explorons ici le conte du Nouveau-Mexique intitulé LA LOBA (La Louve),
raconté par Clarissa Pinkola Estés dans son livre Femmes qui courent avec les loups. À travers
la mise en scène de ce mythe, ce stage explore un chemin pour retrouver la source de cette
femme sauvage, vibrante et donneuse de vie qui sommeille en nous, et renouveler notre
passion pour l'aventure de vivre. Rigoureux et ludique, festif et sacré, façon Ho Rites de passage.
La nourriture est locale, végétarienne, sans gluten
et préparée avec amour.
Inscription: info@horites.com
Description
Un séjour dans un lieu doux, ressourçant, beau et bon pour la planète pour véritablement transformer ta vie.
Parce qu’elle le vaut bien et que les épreuves ou changements de tout poil ne sont pas toujours aisés à surfer.
As I sat in church on Christmas Eve- I cried. I cried because the Pastor was discussing our Christmas gifts of Mercy and Change. I honestly thought this man was speaking directly to me. I was shaking my head as he told me, “God has given you the gift of change. All good things do not come to an end and you have been given the gift of changing the evil and bad in your life. You have the power to work to change that which you do not like in yourself.” Sure, I know this, but it’s just too hard. Where do I start? It’s going to take so long, it’s going to be so tough and I just don’t think I can do it.
Then he stood there and continued, “It’s not supposed to be easy. If you didn’t work for it, sweat for it, dedicate yourself to it then it will never truly be yours. You will never appreciate it, own it, and be responsible for it.”
Wow, okay. Yeah, I guess I knew that, too. After all, anything worth doing is worth doing right. Nothing that tastes good can be good for you. Anything worth working for is worth working hard for. Those are all saying, right? I suppose they are saying for a reason.
There is also a saying, “God never gives you more than He knows you can handle.” And the familiar snarky response, “I just wish he didn’t trust me so much.” Sometimes I feel like that. Sometimes I resent how much I am given. When I think like that; when I think negatively, I try and sit back and put things into perspective. I say, “This is a big issue for me but what about all those in the world who are much worse off than I am? Would they be complaining if they were in my shoes?” Doubtful is the answer I usually come to.
I have plenty of flaws. The Pastor called me (us) sinners. Well, yeah, of course I am. Those commandments and rules that God set aren’t easy! Everyone sins and nobody is perfect. I’ve come to terms with the mistakes missteps that I have made in life. I have learned not to beat myself up every time I mess up. This wasn’t an easy lesson for me, but at 30 I’m finally learning to forgive myself.
I’m broke…then again who isn’t in today’s economy or around the holidays. I’m not actually broke I just never have as much money as I (or my bills/loans) think I should have. Seems there is always more going out than coming in. I suppose that is the way it works when you have a new car, student loans, health and car insurance, credit card/cell phone/household bills to pay.
I procrastinate. I am impatient. I have a short Irish temper and a Greek ability to hold a grudge. I over think everything. I love fiercely but once crossed it’s nearly impossible to get back in my good graces. I have slept with married men, had impure thoughts, and premarital sex. I’m sarcastic and sometimes inappropriate. I have a filthy mouth and a dirty sense of humor. Let me just say that I don’t consider most of these a bad thing…but some people would.
The one thing that I would really like to change about myself, my one most obvious “flaw” is my weight. I know…how original…a woman who doesn’t like how she looks. Here’s the thing. I do like the way I look. I think I am gorgeous. In all seriousness I like my curves and my “fullness”. I have always struggled with eating and with weight and long ago I think I accepted that it was my fate to be heavy. Well that is just bullshit. I have definitely let myself go past a point that is healthy. I have a family history of high cholesterol, blood pressure issues, diabetes, heart problems…none of which are an issue for me now but that doesn’t mean they can’t swiftly become one.
So not for a vain reason but for health reasons I have realized that my time for procrastination is over. My usual, “I have too much too lose, I’ll never be able to do it.” Attitude has got to go. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to do this anymore. I am lazy by nature but I am vowing that I am going to make a change.
It’s not going to be easy; I don’t expect it to be. The pounds aren’t going to come off easy or quickly and knowing that at the start is a blessing. Knowing that I will have bad days, days where I make bad food decisions or half ass a work out and forgiving myself in advance for that is a blessing. Knowing that it is okay to fail now and then but still not lose sight of my goal is the way to go.
I refuse to do a fad diet. They don’t work because they aren’t life long weight loss solutions. If they worked then everyone would be thin (in my opinion). I tried the Atkins diet and lost about 40 pounds…had a weark night of booze and 2 slices of pizza and BAM the weight flew back. No thanks. Plus I’m a miserable bitch without carbs! I refuse to take those weight loss drugs that amp you up until it feels like your heart is about to explode…how is that healthy!? I tried that a couple times and I felt like I was tripping out and for a woman who doesn't do drugs it's not a fun feeling. I am just going to have to learn better portion control and be stricter about my work out schedule.
The hardest part of this entire process is going to be getting Yiayia on board and explaining to get that making my own meals is a must. I can’t eat her fried, oil leaden, butter rich foods anymore. I feel bad when she has a meal waiting and I don’t eat it but it’s just not healthy for me! I prefer grilled, broiled, or marinated food as opposed to fried and breaded. I also prefer my vegetables raw (and therefore full of vitamins) as opposed to her so soft you don’t need to chew them variety (gag!). I know it’s going to hurt her feelings but I have to do what is right for me.
I would like to find a gym or work out partner who can help motivate me. I know that I'm a lazy shit and having somebody on board with this is going to be a must. I am going to sit down and have a discussion with my Aunt also (she is the head of nutrition at a local hospital) and discuss the healthy way to start this process. I already avoid soda, juice, and processed foods (as much as possible when not in control of your dinners) and haven't eaten beef or pork in over 10 years. I eat chicken and turkey sparingly and a lot of baked fish and salads. I know it's less of a food issue and more kick starting my metabolism...which sucks!
So there it is…my crying in church Christmas lesson. That’s what I took away from my Christmas season. A change for me that is healthy, positive, and necessary. I will keep you all posted on progress, as always, and appreciate all the support I know I will get from you. I hope everyone is having a wonderful Wednesday.
January 15th, 2012 at 11:25 pm
Let it be, see where the relationship takes you. There is nothing Moxie can say to you that will be helpful, since she has never been in a serious long term relationship. The only type of question you should ask her is “should I spit or swallow” and even that is a question you ask her about a dude you picked up at your local saloon. Not a real date.
Sound to me like you met a great guy who really is falling for you. Maybe there is something wrong with him, or maybe not. Just don’t ask an always-single chick who is invested in the failures of other women. She is over the hill, her day is done, and yours isn’t . If you are going to listen to a 40+ woman, make it a 40+ woman with a romantic life you want. You don’t want Moxies. No one does. Ask ones who actually form relationships with men.
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Reply
BruceWayne Says:
January 16th, 2012 at 1:48 am
If you have such a low opinion opinion of Moxie (or at least of Moxie’s opinions) then why do you bother reading her blog? And why would you bother to comment? There’s no point, and you’re just clogging up the page with negativity.
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DrivingMeNutes Says:
January 15th, 2012 at 11:42 pm
“Maybe we are in a rush because we already know what we want in life. We are not kids. And honestly at 32 I do feel my click ticking.”
We? There is no “we.” I understand why you think YOU are in a rush to commit. My question is why do you think HE is? Your response confirms my point – his impulsive behavior benefits you. So, of course you don’t know the answer as to why he is that way. You are not even willing to question it. You’d rather ask about spare keys and closet space.
The sound that was calling me, the day that I came out of my daze of heartbreak, was the far off thump, thump, thump, the low vibration of The Abbey, a famous gay bar in West Hollywood. Don’t ask me why or how my body wanted this, but it was the only thing that could shake off the past. Yes, that’s right. Really, hot gay men dancing in their underwear to really loud house music. That’s all I wanted.
So I gathered a group and we planned an Abbey night. We drank, and drank, and drank some more. We drank until all our problems went away. But it wasn’t the alcohol that kept my problems away that night. It was the dance floor. I could have cared less whether I drank or not that night. My body wanted the dance floor, and as soon as everyone in my group was drunk enough to become puppets, I dragged them all onto the floor, and let my body go.
With every twist and turn of my body, the anger and hurt and sadness melted away. Nothing else mattered in this moment except for my body and the music. I was engulfed in the sound of the music, and my body translated it into movement. Movement that turned all my emotion into a story for everyone around me to experience.
When I went to the club that night, the last time I had sex was with…him, the great heartbreak. My body had shut down in the last couple of months because it knew that experience may never be able to be recreated. The idea of trying to have lame sex, or even ‘good’ sex again was debilitating. I didn’t know what to do. But in that moment on the dance floor, my body recreated it, and released all of its sexual frustration. I made raw, uncensored love to the dance floor that night.
Everyone around me knew it. I got by far the most attention of anyone on that packed dance floor. No less than 5 guys tried to intervene the energy from my body to the dance floor. I humored them for a minute, and then got back to my first love. I was drenched in sweat at the end of the night when I looked up and saw him. He was to be the next one in my love saga. I caught his eye through the crowd of people. I didn’t stop dancing, but every time I took a step, I came a little closer to him until I was grinding right next to him. We didn’t miss a beat, and I finally let someone intercept my sexual energy. I was now making love to him instead of the dance floor.
It was, of course, the end of the night shortly after I found him and we spoke for the first time. He was tall, dark, and Italian…as in from Italy..with an accent. I was drunk, but he was polite and sweet and took my number and then let me go home with my friends. He was the Italian, and he was the one that restored my faith in men and love.
Description
Randonnée de 4,6 Km pour parcourir les 4,6 milliards d’année de notre planète : sa création, les étapes de son évolution pour qu’elle devienne habitable, le tissage progressif des différentes strates du vivant, les extinctions de masse et l’accélération des transformations depuis sa colonisation par l’homme.
Au-delà des apports scientifiques, cette animation est également une expérience sensitive en immersion dans le vivant, et une occasion de ralentir le rythme, de prendre du recul sur l'instant présent et de se connecter au Vivant.
Adapté aussi aux enfants à partir de 9 ans.
Inscription gratuite, participation libre et consciente à la fin de la marche.
Description
🌟 Imaginez que chaque pas que vous faites vous transporte un million d’années en arrière. Que votre simple marche devienne un voyage à travers le temps, retraçant l’histoire de notre planète, de ses bouleversements géologiques à l’émergence de la vie.
C’est précisément l’expérience que je vous propose avec une Marche du Temps Profond:
🌍 Un voyage immersif où chaque mètre parcouru incarne un millénaire d’évolution.
👣 Une manière unique de ressentir le temps autrement, de questionner notre place dans l’histoire du vivant.
🤝 Un moment de partage et d’émerveillement pour toutes celles et ceux qui veulent reconnecter science, nature et humanité.
Rejoignons-nous le dimanche 4 mai en forêt de Bouconne à 25km de Toulouse, pour cette exploration hors du commun ! Venez vivre le plus grand des récits, digne d’une série Netflix mais sans écran !
Qui sera des nôtres pour cette aventure dans les profondeurs du temps ? ⏳✨
Marche du temps profond dans la zone verte de Pech David à Toulouse le 14/05/2024
Description
Randonnée de 4,6 Km pour parcourir les 4,6 milliards d’année de notre planète : sa création, les étapes de son évolution pour qu’elle devienne habitable, le tissage progressif des différentes strates du vivant, les extinctions de masse et l’accélération des transformations depuis sa colonisation par l’homme, le tout au rythme de nos pas.
Au-delà des apports scientifiques, cette animation est également une expérience sensitive en immersion dans le vivant, et une occasion de ralentir le rythme et de prendre du recul sur l'instant présent.
Marche du Temps Profond dans le cadre de l'Université de la Terre
Description
🌍 La prochaine édition de l’Université de la terre fêtera les 20 ans les 14-15 mars 2025 à l’UNESCO Paris avec un programme composé par 200 speakers et de nombreuses conférences inspirantes, dont certaines accessibles en distanciel (www.ut-inscription.com/programme) !
👣 La Marche du Temps Profond s'associe à l'événement pour créer, partout en France, de nombreuses opportunités de se connecter au Vivant à travers un voyage dans le temps et l'espace pour parcourir ensemble l'histoire de la Terre.
🌳 Dans ce cadre, je vous invite à vous relier à l'événement en m'accompagnant pour une marche du temps profond en forêt de Bouconne (à 25km de Toulouse)
Quand ? Dimanche 9 mars, de 9h à 13h
Où ? COMMUNE DE MONTAIGUT SUR SAVE, forêt de Bouconne
Infos et inscriptions 👉
Description
Et si nous arrêtions le temps pour une journée de pause, de bain de forêt, et pour porter un nouveau regard sur nous et ce qui nous entoure ? 👀
Je vous invite à un voyage dans le temps pour revivre l'histoire de notre Terre 🌍, depuis sa formation il y a 4,6 milliards d'années sous la forme d'une randonnée 👣 de 4,6 km en forêt de Bouconne. Le parcours est à l'échelle du temps, avec des stations terrestres pour échanger sur les grandes étapes de la Terre et de la vie qu'elle abrite.
Description
Randonnée de 4,6 Km pour parcourir les 4,6 milliards d’année de notre planète : sa création, les étapes de son évolution pour qu’elle devienne habitable, le tissage progressif des différentes strates du vivant, les extinctions de masse et l’accélération des transformations depuis sa colonisation par l’homme.
Au-delà des apports scientifiques, cette animation est également une expérience sensitive en immersion dans le vivant, et une occasion de ralentir le rythme, de prendre du recul sur l'instant présent et de se connecter au Vivant.
Adapté aussi aux enfants à partir de 9 ans.
Inscription gratuite, participation libre et consciente à la fin de la marche.
Ok. But somebody reading your blog isn’t going to know the details behind why you decided to publicly mock or crucify someone. And really, why is it so important to do any of this publicly?
Isn’t that what this is all about, anyway? Our desire to find love, to give love and to live happily ever after?
But how can anybody truly give love when they refuse to put anyone else’s needs before their own and are so insistent upon documenting their own life?
Look. I’ve committed all these dating blogger sins. I’m not above it. But the proof is in the pudding….If this magical right person who will love us despite our need to overshare exists, how come no dating blogger has appeared to have found them?
totallytyler Reply:
July 19th, 2011 at 9:56 pm
Well, of course, personal blogging is a creative expression of self-obsession. I won’t deny that. Most of why anyone does anything is for self-purposing reasons. However, I don’t just write about dating. I’ve written restaurant reviews and posts about job searches, family, etc. I’ve posted photo essays and reviews of books and movies.
I’m not sure if this is your first time reading my blog, but my long time readers know that I have a self-effacing sense of humor and I’m generally pretty good about being truthful and owning up to my shit. Trust me, if I get stinking drunk and puke on my shoes, I’ll write about it. But I would never puke on my shoes. I have better aim.
As for characters remaining anonymous, thus far, I’ve had no problems. I’ve only had one complaint- from a guy whose name, profession and race was changed to protect his identity. And he must not be that mad because he still booty calls me on Friday nights.
I have edited on request and worked with characters to create an identity they are comfortable with. I will not write about someone if they make that request and on the flipside, I’ve not written about many who have practically begged to “make it into the blog.” Like I said in the post, I have to learn something about myself to feel compelled to write about the experience.
Part of being an adult is having adult problems and solving them with adult solutions. In other words, I am here to write about…
… alcohol.
www.nataliedee.com
I posit that alcohol is a key component to any man-shopping operation.
I cite the following reasons:
Doing away with inhibitions and sound decision-making is essential to coping with an interlocutor who is unattractive, boring, or generally repulsive in some way. In the long run, it’s better to be civil, but sobriety makes this very difficult.
Sober Man-shopper : Bugger off before I rip your face off and use it as a cape.
Drunky Man-shopper : Oh heeeeeeeeey, fancy seeing you here. How’s it going? Having a good time? You like my dress, aw shucks, oh how nice of you to say!
It’s nice to have something to do with your hands. It’s the difference between descending into irredeemable dorkitude and actually passing for a normal human being who may even appear to have some semblance of man-shopping mojo.
Sober Man-shopper : < arms flailing about uncontrollably, sometimes hitting people in the face >
Drunky Man-shopper : < clutching glass, sipping demurely, and sometimes peeking over it and pretending to bat eyelashes >
Sometimes we would all like a way to pretend like something never happened.
Sober Man-shopper : Oh god. That guy last night at McDonald’s. He looked like a troll that was hit by a truck and then backed over by a cement roller. He smelled like a petting zoo. I’m not entirely sure he was even simian. And HE TOUCHED MY ARM. GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF.
Drunky Man-shopper : I don’t remember anything after paying for my chicken nuggets.
Man-shopping is a risky business, and we all know how easy it is to get burned. And it’s disturbing how easy it is to not just get burned, but to get effing incinerated. So if you’re anything like me, we don’t like to deal with our shit in a productive kind of way. Alcohol to the rescue!
Sober Man-shopper : Sob. Sob. Sob. Uncontrollable weeping. I hate myself, and I would like to die now please. My heart is exploding. But I luuuuuuuurve him. I am a fat cow, no wonder he discarded me like day-old bread.
Drunky Man-shopper : I am a goddess, and it’s his loss, dammit. Leaping lobsters, I look phenomenal in this new lingerie, and he’s NEVER GONNA SEE IT. Dance it out, girl. Dance it out to Britney in your bedroom…. < static… >
Alcohol = courage.
Sober Man-shopper : < Silent and cowering in the corner of the room >
Drunky Man-shopper : Helloooo, sir, you are very handsome. May I touch your biceps?
Sometimes competition over a coveted male can get a little heated. Alcohol can sometimes save you heaps of money that would otherwise have been spent on legal representation after getting charged with assault.
Sober Man-shopper : That bitch just said WHAT?! I WILL DESTROY HER. HE IS MINE.
Drunky Man-shopper : Aw, she didn’t mean it. She’s just jealous of my awesome shoes. Who is this guy again? Ooo, is that guacamole I see? I LOVE PUPPIES!
Alcohol = mad skills. We all need skills to have an edge over the competition, right?
Sober Man-shopper : I can’t dance to save my life. I also can’t speak any language but English and a smattering of Pig Latin.
Drunky Man-shopper : I AM A BALLROOM CHAMPION. I AM FLUENT IN CROATIAN AND FINNISH. RAWR, BITCHES!
All that aside, however, as I try to pick my face up off the floor from yesterday’s hangover, perhaps you all should ignore everything that I have to say.
Alright, that wasn’t really beta bait. I know it’s hard to hear the sarcasm over Al Gore’s Internet. I’m a chick. STDs present a significant concern. And I’d personally consider myself as being a negative number on the 1-10 attractiveness scale if I contracted one. I suppose I can see how guys would be somewhat slightly less concerned about STDs, but for the life of me, I can’t figure out why not every female is overly concerned.
on June 1, 2010 at 1:32 pmRollo Tomassi
It’s called birth control for a reason; someone is controlling the birth. In the past 50 years there have been over 40 methods of birth control made commercially available over which only women have control of regulating. In the same period of time only 2 are available for men, the humble condom and vasectomy.
If you are not controlling the birth, she is. For as much as the community decries the general duplicity of women, and considering the circumstantial statistics for single mothers over the last 50 years, are you really willing to put the trust of controlling a birth that will tie you to that woman for a lifetime in her hands? Every ambition, every decision, every action you’d hope to achieve in your future ride on your controlling the birth. Women can never begin to appreciate the magnitude of trust a man places in them by this simple act.
There are precious few “accidental” pregnancies, and there are no accidental births. This conversation should never occur. Always wear a condom, it is your ONLY insurance.
on June 1, 2010 at 1:48 pmgreatbooksformen
“This conversation should never occur. Always wear a condom, it is your ONLY insurance.”
yah when i get pulled over by a cop i whip it out and show him my condom on my long cock lzozlzlzl and i say it is my only insurance.
on June 1, 2010 at 1:51 pmName
“as evidenced by the commenters who apparently require orientation seminars, legal contracts, and full-body neoprene suits before letting anyone near their genitals.”
Legal contracts ONLY drawn up by an ALL FEMALE legal team. I can NOT stress that point enough. It doesn’t count, if it was written by a male lawyer.
on June 1, 2010 at 1:54 pmEastPole
@ExtraStout
You sir are either pandering to the peanut gallery, or are grossly misinformed.
Précieux territoires : sur les chemins de la résilience, entre lucidité et espérance
Description
Comment continuer à cultiver la joie et la légèreté sans détourner les yeux de l’état du monde ? Que faire face aux bouleversements de la bodiversité et du climat, aux incohérences de notre époque qui perturbent nos voisins rivières, forêts, oiseaux, insectes…? Où exprimer ses difficultés face à l’ampleur de la tâche? Comment régénérer nos systèmes culturels et écologiques ? Par où commencer pour agir sur nos propres territoires ?
Now to why I think it’s bad news that the Gynocentric Cycle is rebooting right now, if that is indeed the case. Men and women have been at this “sex war” for all of their existence. This cyclical phenomenon has covered all of human history. I want it to end in a decisive and irrevocable victory for men. But the only way this will happen is if two events coincide in time: the end of a gynocentric cycle and the start of the permanent and irreversible obsolescence of women.
At the end of a gynocentric cycle, men are so disgusted and put off by women that they want nothing to do with them and they are seriously considering doing without them and going their own way. At such a point, men see themselves as a group and not just as generic individuals.
The second event consists of two components: the technological obsolescence of women on the sexual and reproductive fronts. On the sexual front, their obsolescence consists of two major inventions: virtual reality sex and robot sex partners. On the reproductive front, their obsolescence consists of the invention of the artificial uterus.
Side note: to be completely accurate, VR sex is right around the corner but the second half, the reproductive aspect, may not be necessary after all. Men would withdraw into their individual sexual heavens and let the rest of society (especially government and women) look on in horror as the birth rate plummets to near-zero levels and productivity drops and the taxes dry out. On the other hand, the artificial uterus (just as surrogacy before it) would allow men for the first time in history to be the ones who decide what traits will be passed on to the next generation and select for men for their love of sovereignty and dignity, civilization-building, civilization-friendly men, sovereign men, instead of women selecting men for their servility and utility to women. This one development alone would allow us to break free from the old cycle that has brought countless civilizations to their knees because they couldn’t escape Homo Sapiens’ animal past as enshrined in women’s sexual instinct and enforced by women’s herdthink. We would be the first species in the known universe ever to escape their animal past.
If these inventions arrive at a time when men are thoroughly and rightfully repulsed by women, then we will have victory, and we will be fairly vindicated for all the injustices they have brought upon us. We will have a clean and clear break from them. However, if those inventions arrive at a time when women are again pretending to be nice, then at best we will have peace, but we will never be completely rid of gynocentrism. It will stick with us for life… like herpes. We may never be rid of putting the male masses in hyper-production mode (as opposed to non-self-destructive high production mode). We may never be rid of consumerism and conspicuous consumption (both highly gynocentric phenomena).
Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 25 Thumb down 0
highwasp July 22, 2014 at 11:47
Rich upper class criminals never face execution of kinds reserved for poor lower class criminals. And class has a lot to say of whom and what crimes are criminals.
The beheading and decapitating Mohammedan’s of Saudi Arabian aristocracy have nothing to fear of their own beheading or decapitation for crimes that they commit. There is no remote chance Princelings, a Sheikhs or aristocrats are to be caught or prosecuted for crimes that attract capital punishments.
I greatly respect the Chinese, the North Koreans and ex-Soviet nations in this quaint matter of equitable and up and up execution. These folks execute everyone and anyone caught doing the crime.
Like or Dislike: Thumb up 12 Thumb down 2
epoche* July 25, 2014 at 07:35
epoche* July 25, 2014 at 06:56
What they cannot wrap their minds around the problems of liberalism and its insane belief in rational harmony.
———————————————————-
In their vocabulary to describe being rejected by a gay pride day they use the term “relational aggressiveness” Thats correct a Mens Rights organization in Toronto is reduced to using therapeutic language to describe being banished, rejected by people who fundamentally disagree with them on basic premises. They are so afraid of directly confronting people who are their political enemies they cannot even use correct language and have to hide behind pseudo-medical jargon. The most basic premise we have to confront is that of male original sin.
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Venez vivre un stage de ressourcement et d'éveil des sens. La journée sera ponctuée de pratiques méditatives, de jeux et d'activités créatives en lien avec le Vivant et le lieu qui nous accueille. Une expérience qui permettra de prendre soin de soi, tout en cultivant le partage et la gratitude envers la Terre.
Description
Se relier à la Toile de la Vie, à la conscience collective du Vivant. Exprimer notre ressenti devant ce qui arriver à notre monde, réveiller en nous les forces vitales de la Terre, trouver notre raison d'être et nous soutenir mutuellement pour aligner nos vies sur notre créativité et nos valeurs profondes....
Like many around the U.S, and even around the world to some degree, I have been excited by the appearance of the Occupy Wall Street movement and it's numerous off-shoot groups. In fact, I have been involved in the work of our local Occupy group in Minneapolis since the day it sprang up last October. It has been a wild ride. I have developed wonderful friendships with people I might otherwise have not met. The sheer ability to discuss the state of the world with people who genuinely care, want change, and are passionate about the issues has been a blessing. It's lifted some of the isolation and marginalization I have long felt as a person deeply committed to jettisoning capitalism, overturning all forms of human oppression, and liberating not only ourselves, but the planet itself.(Actually, I believe that the planet has the skills to liberate itself, if only we'd stop destroying it at every single turn.)
However, at this juncture in the movement, it's quite clear to me how much we all need to heal. How many divides cannot be mended simply by declarations of solidarity and calls to attack a tiny group of uber wealthy folks and their minions. We might be the 99%, but so much of our individual and collective experience has been tamed by conformity, distorted by false notions of power, and trapped in us vs. them mindsets.
Another member of Occupy Minneapolis just started a blog, and her first post inspired me to offer more of my own take not only on Occupy, but on the larger issues that drive me these days. Please head here to read her current piece, and follow her future writing.
"I'm part of the 1%, and you are too. As people living in the United States, by the level at which we consume resources, and by our access to a kind of power to change things, compared to the rest of the world we are the 1%. Also, to the rest of the species on the planet, who would like a say in how we are running things, humans are the 1%. We owe it to them to speak up and also to listen."
Calling ourselves 99% was a bold and brilliant move, that has the richest 1% quaking... and also, possibly, laughing. So much hangs in the balance around this idea. Can we really overcome our differences enough to join forces and reclaim our freedom?
How, exactly, have we been enslaved? There is a general feeling, among most of us, of being trapped. We want there to be an enemy, someone clearly evil we can point to and say, "That person. That 1% person is the root of it all. If only they were gone, then we would be free."
gman7235 years agoReply
It’s been a month since the last comment so I’m late to the party here, but very interesting post and subsequent comments. Full disclosure: I was looking through Google for insight on whether married men should use Tinder and came across this! LOL. In any case, my situation is much like some of the others. Happily married to a woman I don’t fight with at home, our occasional sex is actually pretty good, and we have four kids that we adore and do our best to raise well. There’s no love lost at home and I’m not trying to lose any of that. My problem is, my wife openly admits her lack of libido and says she wants to do something about it but doctors and medications haven’t done much…yet.
Then she says I can just do her anyway as if that would be at all satisfying. I would much rather hookup with someone outside of my marriage that WANTS to have sex rather than essentially rape my wife. God. She says she’d rather just take it than have me sleeping around. I keep trying to tell her that there are real and serious concerns about telling your husband to have sex with you when you don’t really want it and I refuse to do it. To me that’s a great way to make any instances of fulfilling sex disappear forever.
Right now, I’m only curious about cheating. I have no idea how anyone confidently retains anonymity while actively searching for partners, so for right now we’re sticking with therapy and medical solutions. The fact that we’re both working toward a solution is a great sign and I’m hopeful we’ll figure something out. But, the fact that I’m researching things like Tinder should be a pretty good clue that I have no idea how long I can endure this–I could cave next week, a year from now, or maybe a miracle will occur and my wife will wake up a nympho tomorrow. Let’s hope for the latter? 😉
11YearItch5 years agoReply
I think it’s great that you’re looking for a solution and making an effort with your wife. You’ve seen the post, you’ve seen the comments – thanks for reading the blog and commenting! And I’m hoping for the latter too!
Description
En mars 2021 Chris Johnstone a lancé la formation Active Hope Foundations Training basé sur le livre Active Hope, qu’il a co-écrit avec Joanna Macy, au sujet du Travail qui Relie. Il y a plus de 6000 inscrits à la plateforme informatique anglophone de cette formation. Déjà, 60 personnes à travers le monde sont formées à faciliter des Cercles inspirés du Active Hope Foundations Training.
Active Hope est traduit en français par Claire Carré et Françoise Ferrand : L’Espérance en mouvement. Aujourd’hui, Zsanna Sebesteny adapte Active Hope Foundations Training pour un public francophone : Cercles d’Espérance en Mouvement. Le premier Cercle en France, animé par Zsanna, avec 10 participants, vient de s’achever. Venez découvrir la pertinence de l'Espérance en Mouvement dans l'éducation aujourd'hui.
Description
Un atelier puissant pour se re-sourcer, relier et regénérer dans un lieu magique.
Grâce à l’approche du « Travail qui relie » (travail au sens de traversée ⸱ transformation) et à une variété de pratiques, nous nous ancrerons dans le présent, libérerons nos émotions, élargirons nos perspectives et irons de l'avant.
Professionnelle de l’accompagnement de l’éco-sensibilité, des effondrements (burnout, deuil, maladie, exil, etc.) et des bifurcations, Géraldine Siméon vous permettra de voyager en confiance, avec profondeur, douceur et légèreté.
A 5km de la gare d'Arbois + covoiturage organisé.
Tarif : 400€ de frais pédagogiques + 475€ de pension complète.
Repas cuisinés par https://octavieandthefoodies.com 🙂
Si la motivation est forte mais que le tarif est un frein, merci de me contacter
Infos ⸱ inscription (jusqu'au 7 juillet) : biophilia.fr ⸱ contact@biophilia.fr
I have a guy friend of mine who met and got engaged to a woman, er, GIRL, all within a month of meeting her; he’s 43, divorced for a year with a 10-yr. old son, is an executive at Microsoft; she’s 22, and does “burlesque” for some local burlesque troupe (A “B” team, NOT one of the top troupes) – she is now sporting a 3.5 carat rock, and they are inseparable . . . NONE of our mutual friends know her; and all of us have two words to say: PRE. NUP. Yeah, we’re just waiting for the crash. I know he likes being married; his ex pulled the rug out from him rather abruptly less than 2 years ago; I just worry that she’s gonna screw him for everything and then some . . . Ugh. It’s a train wreck waiting to happen.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 13 Thumb down 3
Reply
Jada Says:
January 17th, 2012 at 8:29 pm
My husband and I got married 5 months after meeting each other in person for the first time. At the time I would have told you it was because we were SO! IN! LOVE! And I just knew he was the one. Nearly 5 years later and we are going strong and better than ever, but that’s only because we have done so much fucking work separately and together. But looking back on it, it’s ridiculous and we were so dumb. It’s embarrassing, really. We were drawn together like iron shavings to a magnet but it’s because we were both so sick and had some pretty serious problems. But reading the OP’s descriptions and justifications sounds just like me circa 2007. Except I didn’t play the exclusivity card for sex.
Slow down. What do you really have to lose?
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Reply
Badger Says:
January 19th, 2012 at 1:31 am
Not much to be said that hasn’t been said, but this was so much like so many of those advice-column letters…”I’m dating this guy and it’s GREAT, but there’s just this one little problem…” And then it turns out the little problem is actually a big dealbreaker.
Single Parent Dating Advice: Single Parents Moving In?
DescriptionMy boyfriend has asked me to move in with him — and normally, I would just go for it, but I have a six-year-old daughter. What advice do you have for women who have children, when deciding whether to move in with a man?
Before making any major life-changing decisions, you must first complete some deep soul searching to make sure that there aren't any regrets later on in life. Now, that you're involving children, you must now complete the soul searching process more than ever to make sure your decision is the best decision for both you and your children.
Before deciding yes or no, consider your reasons for moving in with him
Reason 1: You truly want to get married to this man. The whole shebang with the ring, the wedding and the thank you notes.
In this case: Don't move in with him until you're engaged, and it's close to the wedding date.
Why? Because you want to show your children that you have respect for yourself, for him, for marriage, for family, and that there is structure in life.
Reason 2: You need male company. Yes, it's the sex, but it's also being able to "decompress" with a grown up at the end of the day over a glass of wine or dinner.
In this case: Move in with him after it's a "committed" relationship. You've dated exclusively for a year. You have a deal about monogamy. For whatever reason you're not the marrying types.
Why? Marriage isn't for everyone, and we live in a country where you are allowed to express yourself and your love for a person, their children, and yourself, in many ways. Living together is one of them. A good tip is to keep a family therapist in the loop so that communication is facilitated, and the children's best interests are overseen by a professional.
Reason 3: You are so excited about this great guy you are seeing.
In this case: Don't move in with him, period. Living with a man, to whom you are not married, when there are children involved, can be irresponsible and emotionally harmful to the children.
Reason 4: Financial. You're paying rent, he's paying rent. Why not cut down on the rent?
In this case: Move in with him if certain conditions are present
Your fairy godmother will tell you that money is never a good reason to make an emotional, sexual or familial connection. However, being a single mother in America, is a largely unsupported (financially, legally, emotionally, socially and every other which way) lifestyle. In this case, while it's not p.c., it may be better for the children to have mom less stressed, and enjoying the company of a nice man she loves than living by principles that don't pay for new shoes. Make sure that the children's best interests are first and foremost, and be honest with them. Don't lead them to believe that this is Mr. Right. Explain that you all love each other, and this will make life easier, and make mom happier and more available for happy homework help, more family nights without stress, etc. Kids are extremely intuitive and they will "get it."
Of course, NEVER move in with anyone who is in any way abusive, has a history of any kind of abuse, or presses any buttons for intuitive flashing yellows.
That said, this can be a wonderful situation, and often love grows on ground well tilled.
Description
Découverte du Travail Qui Relie et de la Marche du Temps Profond
Un voyage initiatique au cœur du vivant, pour se reconnecter à notre nature profonde et à notre pouvoir d'agir.
Des expériences pour nous relier au vivant, des partages, une randonnée de 4,6 km à la découverte de l'histoire de notre Terre.
Le Travail Qui Relie est une méthode inspirée des traditions boudhistes et amérindiennes, créée par Joanna Macy, pionnière de l'écopsychologie
Description
Une journée pour prendre soin de soi et de la planète.
Revivons, lors d'une marche extraordinaire en forêt, l'histoire de notre planète (selon le récit scientifique actuel) puis partageons nos réflexions, émotions et envies d'agir au service d'un monde de demain plus sain et désirable (inspiré du Travail qui Relie).
Des expériences pour nous relier au vivant, des partages, une randonnée de 4,6 km à la découverte d'une histoire de notre Terre.
Le Travail Qui Relie est une méthode inspirée des traditions boudhistes et amérindiennes, créée par Joanna Macy, pionnière de l'écopsychologie
Animé par Karen et Anne-Laure
Prix libre et conscient avec un minimum de 20€ payable sur place
Possibilité d'organiser un covoiturage pour se rendre sur place
“4)Madea- I boycott this cornery. Guys dressin up as girls to make money? has it come to that? Confusin my 5yr old son cause he see tha commercial and he drees like a old lady then he see a interview and he in a suit dressed like a man. Then I gotta answer ?’s like why does he wear womens clothes? so i say shut -up boy watch some dam cartoons”
LOL…I’m not a Tyler Perry stan, but does it gotta be this serious? Folks dress up in costumes for comedic and entertainment purposes all the time. Just tell your son that he’s a clown. It’s appropriate. lol
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BLUNTBLAZER {June 22nd, 2009 at 1:07 pm}
@Cheekie,
i dont want him to think this is how black men get paid i think TP is cooooonery at its finest. Atleast Mrtin/eddie only did it once or twice but dam a whole collection madea falls down some stairs, medea gets lost in the blue lagoon, madea does thisss? are you serious?
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Cheekie {June 22nd, 2009 at 1:24 pm}
@BLUNTBLAZER,
LOL. I can respect that.
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Me fail english? {June 22nd, 2009 at 1:00 pm}
@BLUNTBLAZER,
lol@ “shut up boy. go watch cartoons” Shout out to all the ol’ school black fathers. Happy belated Daddy’s day.
and lmao@ the DMX fun facts. I don’t doubt any of it!
Description
The Work that Reconnects, developed by Joanna Macy, is interactive, creative group-work that serves to deepen our connectedness with Life by drawing upon the spiritual and psychological resources we need to face and respond to global issues. This process transforms the feeling of powerlessness that we may experience about the state of our world. We emerge from this process empowered, reconnected to ourselves, to others and the living Earth... able to tap into a deeper source of energy, joy and purpose in life.
A couple of weeks ago I posted a piece on the dreaded Friend Zone. I briefly described what the Friend Zone is, and why it sucks to end up there.
Usually, a guy that’s interested in a woman romantically, would rather endure a root canal–sans anesthesia–rather than end up with yet another platonic friend.
However, what I didn’t mention is that once you learn what makes a particular woman attracted to you–what it is about you that piques her interest–and what it is that you can do in order to keep the attraction between the two of you simmering…you can regularly attract women by purposely entering into the Friend Zone.
That’s right guys, the Friend Zone isn’t always an awful place.
As a very good friend of mine–and one of the most talented Girl Getters I know–says, “Every time I meet a young lady, I quickly assess whether or not she and I will mesh properly. If it becomes apparent that we aren’t gonna be romantically involved, then I willingly enter her Friend Zone. For every woman I meet that ends up becoming a platonic friend, she has a potential of at least 5-7 girlfriends for which I now have a built in seal of approval.”
As you can see, it’s a matter of your point of view. A man that has great success with women understands that:
Not every encounter with every woman that you’re interested in will lead to the boudoir.
The Friend Zone can actually be a vineyard, ripe for picking, with many more varietals than you may have previously thought.
The Friend Zone. You see, as I and countless others have learned over the years, learning about the person you’re interested in is the best way to go.
You wouldn’t walk onto a car lot, drooling all over the shiny showroom model, then immediately plop down all your hard earned cash, having never learned anything at all about the way it handles, the rate at which it consumes fuel, how competent it is at making you feel secure as you’re having your way with it on a twisty canyon road.
I think it’s a much smarter idea to learn all about the features and benefits of the car first, don’t you? The same goes for women.
Friends first…what a concept!! Once I learned how powerful becoming friends first could be, it totally changed my relationships with women…for the better. Much better.
Yes, my friend, the Friend Zone ain’t so scary after all.
Who knows, you just might find a friend after all, maybe even one that comes with benefits.
We are alive in an unprecedented moment, with a convergence of social, political, and climate crises that disorients our own hearts and our clear vision of a livable future for all beings. But we are also alive during the largest, non-local, planet-wide movement to fight for life on this planet.
Both are happening. Both are alive. And for many of us, some central questions are, “What do I pledge myself to while I am here? How do I stay engaged, inspired, and connected to others when the stakes are so high? And what do I do when I feel hopeless?”
30 years ago, Joanna Macy energized a term for this global movement on behalf of life: The Great Turning.
The Great Turning Summit is a doorway into this movement, this pivot toward a livable future, a collaboration between millions of people and the more-than-human world. This summit will offer up a healthy dose of honoring and inspiration, highlighting the good works of communities from all over the world.
I try to live life in vivid color, but my palette is missing red: “make your heart jump” red, “excited to see you” red, “huge smile across the room” red. The colors I live life in are blue (serenity, cool, calm) and yellow (happiness, joy, laughter). Nice colors. But without red, the portrait lacks true warmth. I’m not just singing the Singles Blues, I’m living in that color most of the time.
I hang out with couples where you can tell there is genuine love, a lifelong commitment, raw honesty, and a unique emotional bond. I bask in the warmth of red their relationship radiates, and for a while, being the third wheel is enjoyable, and I feel hope and optimism…right until I walk into my empty apartment right across from the ocean. The moonlight reflects off the water in an impossibly romantic scene, and my heart aches for someone to share it with. I sigh, get ready for bed, and tell myself: someday. I feel blue.
I worry my heart is dying a slow death from lack of expression - because here’s no one to express the love I have to give, I fear it’s killing the best part of me. The inability to express my love toward someone else didn’t just create a void - over time, like a sick cosmic joke, the void has collapsed on itself creating a black hole that just sucks the joy right out of my soul. Ok, ok, so I’m being a tad melodramatic. I’m actually very happy most days, and there are certainly benefits to being single. Still…you get my point.
This thing these couples have - that unsaid, but powerful bond - I haven’t felt it for anyone in a long, long time. My dates are mostly entertaining news stories to tell my married friends. My relationships in the past few years have been - at best - mediocre. I don’t crave companionship (I am blessed with fabulous friends, both men and women). I crave love. Romantic love. Passionate love. Intimate love.
I thought I’d miss passion the most. I don’t. I miss the moments of emotional love - you know, when your partner reaches their hand out to you to touch your face, saying nothing, all emotional content conveyed in that one gesture? When you had a crappy day and the mere appearance of them at your door erases the stress instantly? Someone to just hold you - not like a friend hug - I mean, really hold you, whispering in your ear that you are loved, and will always be loved?
When I think about these moments, I realize that I don’t miss receiving this kind of love it half as much as I miss giving it.
Any advice for jump-starting the “expressing love”? Do you do special things for friends and family? Volunteer work? Or, do you think this is a self-love issue? How do I paint some red into these Singles Blues?
Upon finding themselves with a single status, people tend to do one of the following: proceed to join an adult dating site and get back in the game ‘pronto’, or, sit at home and sulk; completely shutting themselves off from the real world and any form of socializing. Personals facts knows this all too well. But before you get carried away with any of the previous points, read on for a list of tips on what to do when you find yourself lacking a plus one.
Don’t Be Too Afraid Of Strangers - So many of my single friends complain about the lack of “quality” men and women out there. However, the majority of them don’t even bother to approach anyone. While I would definitely recommend online dating, approaching a stranger at a bar or coffee shop can work towards your advantage. And if you’re too shy to simply walk up to someone you don’t know, consider other familiar options. Your friends cute cousin or that cute bartender you always talk to are both great options.
Always Be Prepared - One crucial aspect to remember is that just because you’re single, it doesn’t mean you can put less of an effort into your looks. You never know when you’ll come across a potential parter, or even just a fling. With that said, be sure to look your best at all times, and not just for others, but for your own well-being. Also be sure to always wear good underwear and carry and condom and toothbrush, just in case.
Learn From The Mistakes Of Others – While you may be temped to shut down when your friends start rambling on about the high’s and low’s of their relationships, it would be smart to pay attention. After all, what better way to learn about dating then through the experience of others? At some point or another, recollecting those stories will work towards your advantage.
Be Happy - Too many people make the assumption that in order to be happy, they must first find a partner who will love them. In reality, the best way of establishing a successful relationship is by being able to fulfill your needs all by your lonesome before finding a partner to be the cherry on top. That will ensure that you don’t run into any dependency issues. They always scare people away.
Description
🌍 Une invitation à explorer une approche holistique face aux défis environnementaux et sociétaux.
Atelier expérientiel de 3h - Travail Qui Relie - Dans le cadre de la Semaine du Climat à Genève
Inspiré par les travaux de Joanna Macy, le Travail Qui Relie est une méthode transformative qui intègre les dimensions corporelles, émotionnelles et spirituelles à une compréhension rationnelle du monde. Cet atelier vise à renforcer notre lien avec la Terre, les autres et nous-mêmes, tout en cultivant la résilience personnelle et collective.
Pendant trois heures, vous serez invité·e à vous reconnecter avec le vivant, à exprimer vos émotions face aux defis de notre monde et à éveiller votre éco-conscience. Grâce à une méthodologie en spirale en quatre étapes, vous explorerez un processus de transformation intérieure soutenu par l'énergie du groupe, dans un cadre bienveillant et inspirant.
Lieu :
Conservatoire et Jardin Botaniques (CJBG)
Chemin de l'Impératrice 1, 1292 Chambésy
Point de rendez-vous : Entrée côté gauche en descendant le chemin de l'Impératrice (au niveau de la fontaine).
Tarifs : Participation libre (CHF 0.- à CHF 20.-).
Description
🌍 Une invitation à explorer une approche holistique face aux défis environnementaux et sociétaux.
Atelier expérientiel de 3h - Travail Qui Relie - Dans le cadre de la Semaine du Climat à Genève
Inspiré par les travaux de Joanna Macy, le Travail Qui Relie est une méthode transformative qui intègre les dimensions corporelles, émotionnelles et spirituelles à une compréhension rationnelle du monde. Cet atelier vise à renforcer notre lien avec la Terre, les autres et nous-mêmes, tout en cultivant la résilience personnelle et collective.
Pendant trois heures, vous serez invité·e à vous reconnecter avec le vivant, à exprimer vos émotions face aux defis de notre monde et à éveiller votre éco-conscience. Grâce à une méthodologie en spirale en quatre étapes, vous explorerez un processus de transformation intérieure soutenu par l'énergie du groupe, dans un cadre bienveillant et inspirant.
Lieu :
Conservatoire et Jardin Botaniques (CJBG)
Chemin de l'Impératrice 1, 1292 Chambésy
Point de rendez-vous : Entrée côté gauche en descendant le chemin de l'Impératrice (au niveau de la fontaine).
Tarifs : Participation libre (CHF 0.- à CHF 20.-).
Description
Le Travail qui Relie, de Joanna Macy : Se relier à la Toile de la Vie, à la conscience collective du Vivant. Exprimer notre ressenti devant ce qui arrive à notre monde, réveiller en nous les forces vitales de la Terre, trouver notre raison d’être et nous soutenir mutuellement pour aligner nos vies à notre créativité et nos valeurs profondes… Nous célèbrerons ainsi la Samhain, le
nouvel an druidique, en honorant la Terre…
Description
Ressentez-vous l’appel de la Terre? L’envie de renouer avec votre pouvoir intrinsèque et à approfondir votre relation avec tout ce qui est vivant?
Rejoignez cette retraite inspirante dans les montagnes du Jura, en France, pour explorer des pratiques, des cérémonies et des enseignements qui vous permettront de cultiver la sagesse, les compétences et la présence énergétique nécessaires pour soutenir le rêve collectif d’une Terre saine avec laquelle nous vivons en parfaite harmonie.
Cet événement se déroulera à la fois en français et en anglais.
When have I said you are supposed to bow down to my advice? My first post said that my advice isn’t any better then someone who is single due to them being out in the trenches.
I love my husband, currently my relationship is stable. Being married is great. I would recommended it to anyone who finds someone they love and can build a great life together.
This is why I avoid these arguments because they go around in circles and avoid the main point and go off topic.
My opinion = long term relationships can help you with future ones due to the thing’s you have learned.
What I wrote in my initial post.
Now I won’t say that a married person’s advice is better then a single persons advice because this blog is about dating and the single people are out there right now dealing with the current climate where I can only watch and analyze from the sidelines.
Dayuuum..I gave you props for Baby Boy lets just keep it right there :)
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9Sheffield Swats { 06.22.09 at 1:54 am }
On the quoteability scale, Baby Boy ranks right up there with The Color Purple and You So Crazy. Can’t count how many times I’ve told a boyfriend “I hate you Jody” after he’s done something good and terrible. That line pretty much deads any argument because you’ll both be on the floor laughing. Quoteworthiness is a good enough reason to rewatch a flick, so I can overlook the acting.
For that matter, I’mma go out on a “revoke my negro pass” limb and say the acting in ANY John Singleton movie is plum terrible. Boyz in the Hood (except Fishburn), Higher Learning (really Tyra???), et al feature some of the worst acting performances known to man.
As for underrated great awful movies, I submit the entire cinematic canon of one Jennifer Lopez. Selena? Killed it. The Cell? Dope. Wedding Planner? (with the exception of her character, Maria, being inexplicably Italian) Exceptional. Monster-In-Law? TBS, you can’t possibly play this movie often enough. I think I own the most JLo DVDs of any non-latina this side of the Rio Grand. Matter of fact, she’s the only way I’d ever see a Tyler Perry movie.
Description
This is the global website, on which our event is also posted (see our webpage for event near Perpignan here.). Each year they make a list of celebrations by city, state, and country. Last year there were 230 groups in over 27 countries, and probably even more this year.
Yep, seconded. Although it’s more complicated for me because I am more or less attracted based on what’s in the head of the person (cis men trust issues, yo). I guess if someone isn’t a woman (cis or trans) they’re less attractive to me – I don’t know how to say that in a non-icky way, sorry – and straight cis men are probably the least attractive to me on the whole. So… I do care about gender. I don’t know. It’s complicated, I guess. And it’s also why I tend to say “homoflexible” when asked about my orientation.
Yeah, the definition I gave is the one-liner I use for a quick explanation, but in reality things break down differently. For example, I’ve started thinking of myself as bisexual, but probably homoromantic. The number of cis-het men who get it when I talk about sexism/racism/homphobia, or who don’t get awkward when I talk about teaching women’s studies is really low. Sleeping with them is fine, but that’s not what I want in a long term partner.
Also, I don’t think it’s icky to say that if someone isn’t a woman you’re not attracted to them. Why would it be?
@ashurredly
Yep. Same here, really. Also, I’m on the ace spectrum, so… I don’t know. It just feels like too much of an effort to actually turn my attraction switch on (so to speak, I’m oversimplifying massively) for someone who’s never really going to get where I’m coming from on things that are incredibly close to my heart. The thought of dating cis men (much less the straight ones) just feels like wading through a sea of Schroedinger’s Assholes to me.
mac, I hear you. I’m simplifying things for myself here too, so I think I get where you’re coming from. Things are rarely easy, yeah?
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